Spot the Tories...

After his withering attack on LabourHome’s poll declaring that most of the party membership want Gordon Brown to leave office,

Luke Akehurst

has set up a group called "

We don’t want a Labour leadership election

"

Unfortunately for him it has,

like the poll

, been hijacked by Tories. Within its ranks are such well known-leftwingers as a former researcher to a Conservative MP, two Conservative Future chairmen and countless centre-right bloggers, including yours truly.

It's a sad day for any Labour Prime Minister when his only friends are members and supporters of the opposition.

Hat-Tip:

Benjamin Gray

Why TB loves NewsBiscuit.

U.S nationalisation threatens new Cold War with capitalist Russia

Russia has condemned the left-wing and inherently ‘un-capitalist’ intervention of the American government in the free market after the state takeover of a number of US banks and mortgage companies.

‘It’s goddamn Communism, period!’ said a spokesman for the Kremlin. Once them politicians start trying to run the banks and markets, them no-good Commies will be taking over everything. Why do you think there are so many billionaires in Russia? Because of the very economic freedoms that the United Soviet States of America are trying to stop.’

However in Washington, the lurch to the left continued. Wearing a little furry hat and a lot of medals, Comrade George Bush waved rather feebly on the balcony of the Glorious People’s White House and later gave a seven hour speech demanding more state control of the financial markets and for his cabinet to have bushier eye-brows. ‘All power to the glorious Soviets!’ he declared ‘We will strengthen our base in Communist Cuba!’

However politcal analysts have said that it is over simplistic to describe the current situation as a straight forward reversal of the last Cold War. ‘I, mean it’s not as if America has invaded Afghanistan or anything. Oh, hang on…’

Hat-Tip:
www.newsbiscuit.com

Boycott JK Rowling

So JK Rowling has just given a million pounds to the Labour Party because of their "track record of fighting child poverty." This sum is a mere small fraction of 1% of her wealth, and though we were told that the era of celebrity politics is over this is a nice stunt for day one of Labour's conference. All they need is another 20 JK Rowling sized donations and Labour might just get on the road to financial recovery...

This is a classic bit of spin, no one mentions the the fact that we will recognise marriage in the tax system. Taxes and benefits should encourage families to stay together, but the current system actually encourages couples to live apart. We will correct this by removing the anti-families bias, paying for it from our new Family Fund, into which all extra green taxes will be put. More than Rowling's personal friend Brown is doing.

No one mentions the fact that we will end the couple penalty in the tax credits system. Instead of keeping people on benefits and locked in a cycle of deprivation, we will support families. We will increase the Working Tax Credit that couples currently receive from £3,430 to £5,385 – an increase of up to £38 per week. This will cost £3 billion. 1.8 million of the poorest couples with children will gain, on average, £32 a week. The direct effect will be to lift 300,000 children in two-parent families out of poverty. We will pay for it from savings made through our radical programme of welfare reform. More than Brown is doing.

TB is glad now he has never read more than a page of the Harry Potter books she has churned out over the years...

Join him in his Facebook group campaign to boycott her work.

Everyone who has ever bought one of her books has now donated to the Labour Party.

No doubt now that she will end up in the House of Lords - Baroness Rowling of Hogwarts.

Busy Bear

TB is sorting out his new flat - internet, furniture etc so blogging will be light this weekend but exciting things coming up in the run up to conference...

+++Telegraph calls Marclar victory+++

Jonathon Isaby over at the

Telegraph

has all but tipped former CF Chairman Mark Clarke to take Tooting...

Sound.

Bunny Girls

TB is a little worried about this blog... He's a well behaved bear but uh oh...

Who are the bunnies?

Fun and games at the Freshers Fair

Having been up since seven sorting out a Freshers Fair, TB is exhausted.

Was a very eventful day - not just in the extremely successful recruitment drive. - Thank you to the kind providers of the huge Gordo cut-outs and the now infamous Serene John-Richards pointing banner.

Oh no the fun and games started after lunch when a pitchfork-brandishing, torch-burning hoard of unruly hippies descended on the Tory stall, picking twigs out of their hair and shouting.

It seems the "Life's better under a conservative..." poster caused a bit of stir. It was vandalised, torn down and there was quite a scene. Armed only with CF bottle openers and very colourful t-shirts, the bastion of freedom resisted the attack of the angry hoard of communist rebels.

Before anyone could say "Matt Drudge" the inquisitive and eager young hacks of the esteemed student newspaper were already on the scene.

TB gave them this statement:

"Well its common knowledge that right-wing girls are more attractive than their lefty counterparts so why not capitalise on that fact... As per usual the hippies have displayed their characteristic and famous lack of humour over this issue"

During a lull in the constant stream of freshers and seedy 3rd years loitering around the freshers, TB took a moment to go undercover to the deepest darkest corner of the room, that occupied by Labour Students...

Picked up all sorts of leaflets and invitations, anyone fancy coming to this?

Well next weeks student rag should make amusing reading, in the meantime TB is off to crash Labour Students "Champagne Socialism" reception. Guest speaker: Margaret Curran MSP - defeated Glasgow East by-election candidate. Will be sure to pass on all of your commiserations...

Will TB's cover be exposed...? sssssh don't tell.

15 reasons to vote for Steve Ricketts.

Steve Ricketts could strangle you with a cordless phone.

When the bogeyman goes to sleep he checks under his bed for Steve.

The dark is scared of Steve Ricketts.

Steve Ricketts doesn’t read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants.

Steve Ricketts once killed a lion with his bare hands.

Steve Ricketts can make a woman climax just by looking at her and shouting ALLAH!

Steve Ricketts once won a game of connect 4 in 2 moves.

If you wake up tomorrow, it’ll be because Steve allowed you to.

Steve Ricketts dosent sleep, he waits.

When Steve Ricketts does push ups, he’s actually pushing the ground down.

The Argies surrendered Port Stanley when the heard that Steve Ricketts had been born.

Steve Ricketts is 1/8th Cherokee. This has nothing to do with ancestry, the man just ate a Jeep.

Steve Ricketts drowned a fish.

Death once had a near-Steve Ricketts experience.

Steve Ricketts died 5 years ago, Death never had the balls to tell him.

Steve Ricketts once visited the Virgin Islands. They are now The Islands.

Rickett's calander goes stright from 31st of March to the 2nd of April……No one fools the Pirate!

Good to see they are working hard...

Les Misbarack...genius.

Events dear boy! Events!

Torybear.com will be being jazzed up in the next few weeks. There will be a designated events page but in the mean time check this one out:

"The Salisbury Club in conjunction with National CF and the Kings College London Keynan Orphan Project is proud to announce its first annual black tie ball.

Held in the prestigious Royal Horseguards Hotel Gladstone Library, this will be an excellent occasion. We will be fundraising for both the charity and for the training of young political CF members. Dress code is Black Tie.

The Guest speaker will be Lord Howe, former Chancellor of the Exchequer and there will be a number of MPs and PPCs in attendance.

Tickets cost £70 before 30 October and £80 after that date for a reception, 3 course dinner and dancing. All profits will be split for fundraising.

"

Given the cracking hangover TB had after Friday's fun and games, this will no doubt be a good one.

Any tips an ideas on what else you would like to see on the rebranded site would be most appreciated. Leave them in the comments.

Spinners and Losers...

If you haven't already, TB suggests you check out

London Spin

. Over the last few days TB has pissed himself laughing at the constant youtube updates of the emerging and developing stories about CF. They are truely hilarious.

In the last few days we have had Lord of the Reforms, Star Wars NME and here is Steve Rickett's "First Campaign Video":



This Frank guy who is the editor is a funny chap.

Not many party tickets left...

Details here

Better get in quick...

Freedom to Lash..

"Mr Chairman and CF Exec

On Behalf on the Student Life School team I would like to give our reaction to the recent post regarding the ‘responsible drinking campaign’. What a complete and utter joke.

It was not long ago that both you and I were at school and went to lessons entitled PSHE (Personal, Social, Health, Education) where we were taught about responsible drinking from the early days of secondary school. This to me is more than enough to make young people understand the dangers of binge drinking and allows them to make decisions after this education.

I am also rather annoyed, as are some of the student life team that we were not consulted on this issue/idea in anyway. Then again if I have learnt one thing about some members of this NME in the last two weeks, it is that it does what it wants, regardless of the membership view. I am of course referring to the reforms, but that’s for another letter.

We as the Conservative Party need to be getting into these schools and selling our message, not preaching to young people about what they should and shouldn’t do. Conservatives want to give young people more control over their lives, not attempt to control them completely.

Also I think it rather looks down on young people. Most young people understand the dangers and do not go out and binge drinking. Most young people drink in moderation and are sensible. So this idea once again is targeted at that small minority that don’t understand and I some cases just don’t care. This Labour Government punish and attempt to control to many of those good honest young people, when they need to really be looking at way of tackling anti-social behaviour.

Conservative Future in schools needs to be going to School Councils and Citizenship classes with our PPC, MPs and Councillors and selling the Conservatives message. Encouraging young people to vote when they turn 18. Let them know that the Conservative party is on their side, not against them.

Most young people do not connect with Politicians they don’t understand them or feel that they are in touch with the issues that are important to them. We need listen to our young people not preach, they are fed up of that!

It is time to stand up and listen to young peoples views before we preach to them. Yes it is important to make people aware of the dangers, but we need to win their trust before they listen to us.

It is time to listen and let young people make their decisions. Moderate control not complete!

Kind Regards

Peter Smallwood Anna Appleton

National Student Life – Vice Chairman (Schools) Student Life Schools Officer

Note from Peter –

P.S. – I feel its is only fair to inform you that I was one who talked to *****(Tory Bear) about this last night. I was told about this in my role as VC for Schools by Patrick. It was in confidence but I felt that this was an important issue that needed to be brought to CFs attention. Not hidden away like some thing have been in recent weeks. So you can stop your Witch Hunt on this one!

P.S.S. – While I am taking up your time. I would like you know that Hillingdon CF is holding it AGM tomorrow and will be having it own vote on these reforms. Once we know the results (which I expect to be against) we will discuss the next step and actions. My branch will be taking a lead to get more branches to ballot its membership on this issue and present the results to you."

You gotta fight for your right to party.

Campaign Video

If you want to be in the next Conservative Party video turn up to this

event

on Thursday.

Sounds useful - bit of vox pop training, cocktails and then a 30 second chat about why you are a Conservative.

Remember though... drink in moderation kids!

Possibly the most ridiculous idea ever.

Ok so say you wanted to recruit young people to a fun and entertaining organisation. Say you didn't want to put people off with having a bit of a stuffy reputation or bad press. Say you wanted to get people to come along to social events and reward them for all their hard work.

Sound familiar yet?

Well here is a tip you can have for free - don't make stupid bloody responsible drinking campaigns anything to do with us. This is not what we are about. Much more of this and we will be a laughing stock.

News has reached TBHQ from a Social Action mole that a certain young NME member is all set to promote her ideas of a nationwide "Responsible Drinking Campaign" apparently sponsored by Sminoff (ironic no?)

Wow way to go. How to embarrass ourselves by being namby pampy nanny knows best tossers!

Come to this party and Tory Bear will give you a crash course in responsible drinking.

Every time TB hears something about this blue duck saving, lad mag banning killjoy wing of the party he gets into such a rage! Now there is nothing personal here but it's no wonder national newspapers suggest that ten years ago these people would have not been in the Conservative Party. When will they get it - our entire point is that we want to give people more control over their lives, let people make decisions and remove the constant breathing of the state down our necks. We should be fighting this, we should be saying no to these campaigns. We should be going into schools and teaching them about freedom, not to rant at them about vodka and open ourselves to complete ridicule.

Anti-binge drinking campaign for sixth formers?

Oh piss off back to Labour Students.

+++Statement+++

There is a statement about to be published about the reforms of the

CF blog

.

TB is trying to get his grubby little paws on a copy but seems its been embargoed rather well.

UPDATE 9am: You can find the plans

here

.

Exclusive: Reform Fightback

TB has just had yesterday's rumour confirmed...

"These reforms are not the best way forward - and someone has to highlight this. Yes I may very well be running for chairman"

Shiver me timbers!

+++Vote+++

For:
Rock
May
Meredith
ABB


Against:
Douglas
Ricketts
Sullivan

Abstained:
Jackson


ABB went into meeting opposing. Cracked. There was shouting. Rumours flying around of resignations are unfounded as far as TB can work out but seems we have our first declared candidate for chairman, who will run on strict anti-reforms platform.

+++devloping+++
+++statement pending+++

More to follow...

+++Reforms pass+++ DEVELOPING

TB sources cofirm a reform package has been passed at the nme meeting.

On Blackberry. More soon.

A classic...

Check out the latest from

London Spin