DC baby...

TB popped in for tea today with that nice Mr Obama and his charming wife...

They even gave him a tour of their house...

Just kidding. In fact TB had a visit and tour of the White House planned but

YBF

's access was mysteriously withdrawn at the eleventh hour for what can only be partisan reasons. There have never been problems in previous years yet mysteriously it's become very hard for those on the right to gain access to the White House in recent months.

TB had to settle with peering through the fence and was most happy to see some honey bees are being kept in the gardens now. His old friend Winnie would be most happy. Maybe TB should write to Mr Obama and ask him to free Winnie, can't stop thinking about his sad face in that little glass box.

Besides this TB is having a wonderful time out here with his new friends. He's off now for drinks with the

Young Conservative Coalition

.

Time to put the chinos and blazer back on...

Quote of the Day

"Tupac was a social conservative"

-An anonymous YBFer after a couple of beers.

Oh really?

TB can't really see it himself.

Typical.

This annoying little chat between

Tory Politico

and the CCHQ press office just came to TB's attention:

Tory Politico: “Hi there I wonder if you can help me. I run the Conservative supporting blog Tory Politico at tory-politico.com, and was wondering if you could send me a copy of the press release that has just been issued about the letter send from David Cameron to the Prime Minister seeking clarification on his position regarding TV debates.
Press Officer: “who do you work for?”
TP: “tory-politico.com.”
PO: “so your not a member of the media.”
TP: “No I am a Conservative party member and a blogger.”
PO: “sorry I cant help you.”
TP: “Why not?”
PO: ”Bloggers don’t count as media so I cant send it to you.”
TP: “Right, so you don’t see blogs as important then, is that right?:
PO: “Yes.”
TP: “So what about the likes of Iain dale and ConservativeHome, are they media? are they seen as important?”
PO: “Yes we feel that they are representatives of the media, and yes we do see them as an important conduit?”
TP: “But you just said blogs don’t count as media.”
PO: “We see them as important conservative commentators not bloggers, we feel that independent bloggers do not provide an efficient means of communicating the Conservative message.”
TP: “Not efficient means of communicating the Conservative message - Im a Conservative blogger, all I blog about is politics and the Conservative party, I think that’s evident from my blogs title.”
PO: “Im sorry, but I have already told you that I cannot send you a copy of the press release you asked for.”
TP: “OK, can you add my details to the press release distrobution list so that future releases and notices are sent to me?”
PO: “No.”
TP: “Because blogs are not important.”
PO: “Yes.”

Hmmmmmm.

TB recommends that TP finds a friend in the lobby who gets the releases and sets up an autoforward to his email account. Not that TB has done that.

Honest guv.

Are Lesbians Making Britain's Swans Impotent?

Via

Shane Greer

, TB has come across the wonderful

Daily Mail headline generator

. Absolute genius. These have to be his favourite so far:

Leave your favourites in the comments.

First ID cards and now...

"Home Secretary Alan Johnson has agreed to release previously unseen documents relating to the 1989 Hillsborough disaster. Mr Johnson told the mothers of three of the 96 victims of his decision at a face-to-face meeting in London."

Johnson won some grudging support from the right when he took the long overdue decision to announce that ID cards won't be compulsory. With populist decisions like

this one

today it makes it even clearer just how much Gordon doesn't get it. This decision could/should have been made months ago and once again Johnson has outmaneuvered Brown and strengthen his position as the king over the water without displaying an ounce of disloyalty.

TB bumped into Alan Johnson last time he was in Parliament. He was walking around the place with a swagger that only the man who could be PM within months can pull off. A smile here, a handshake there, building up support without saying a word. Johnson is refusing to let the traditional graveyard reputation of the Home Office get the best of him.

He's a smart guy.

TV debates?

TB would love to see a line as good as this one, a real nail in the coffin, delivered to Brown in a pre-election television spar:



Mandy has apparently

spoken out of line

with his suggestion that Gordon had warmed to the idea. It's always the opposition leader that calls for television debates so it's refreshing to hear at least someone in government is thinking about the idea. While the real PM may want them, Brown is a coward of the highest order who has shirked away from every challenge he has ever faced. He avoids PMQs at the drop of a hat and TB isn't holding his breath for a television debate.

The tories should keep the pressure on though.

Sweary Dave

Dave was

told off

twice this morning for getting all sweary. Twat here, pissed off there. Lucky he wasn't in the States. The line about twitter was fantastic though - “The trouble with Twitter, the instantness of it, is I think that too many twits might make a twat." A fair point, as was this line; “The public are rightly, I think, pissed off - sorry, I can’t say that in the morning - angry with politicians.”

So who are these twats that Dave speaks of? Hattie Garlick over at

Comment Central

has helpfully compiled a list of village tweeters.

It seems Dave was quick to reassure the tweeting Tory head of press that he didn't mean him.

Henry Macrory

was quick to play down the "incident":

"No offence was meant, and none should be taken... but DC tells me he'll use tweeter language in future.."

Ahhh.

Front row ticket please...

From last night's

Standard

:

"David Cameron will gamble at his party conference by revealing further details of where the spending axe would fall if he wins power.
Shadow cabinet ministers have been told to spend the summer identifying examples of real savings that could be made from Whitehall budgets to show they are serious about repairing the public finances."

Let's hope Dave comes on stage weilding the said axe.

TB's two cents...

TB always plays by the rules so wouldn't want to fall foul of the

Total Politics blog poll

regulations. TB isn't suggesting you vote for these people but as it's seemingly all the rage he thought he would let you all know who he vote for.

These ten blogs are the ones he will read without fail and offer some of the finest voices on the right and some other cracking reads:

1.

Paul Waugh

- Just call him scoop.
2.

Dizzy

- Never fails to make TB laugh and kick himself he didn't get the story.
3.

Events Dear Boy Events

- Could go pro as a newswire.
4.

SNP Tactical Voting

- Spot on every time on everything but independence.
5.

Tory Politico

- An excellently written and constantly updated commentary.
6.

Charlotte Gore

- One of the brightest libertarian minds out there. Blog is very pretty too.
7.

Donal Blaney

- Never a man to mince his words!
8.

Tory Rascal

- Excellent insight into Britain's armed forces and great bloke.
9.

Devil's Kitchen

- When he's on fire he's up still up there with the best.
10.

Shane Greer

- Glad he's back blogging regularly.

Guido Fawkes

,

Political Betting

and

Iain Dale

go without saying and frankly probably don't need any more votes! A special mention has to go to

Irfan Ahmed

for his shrewd insight and open mindedness.

James Delingpole

and

Daniel Hannan

are fantastic at The Telegraph blogs and

ConservativeHome

has gone from strength to strength. As for the enemy? Well

Blackburn Labour

and Alex Smith's

LabourList

prove that the right might one day be given a run for their money online after the election.

Don't forget you have until Friday to

vote

.

Thanks to anyone who has voted for the bear.

And the answer is...

Apologies for the lack of posting yesterday, it's been a busy day here. Just unwinding with a gin and tonic after a fascinating afternoon at the

Cato Institute

,

Competitive Enterprise Institute

and dinner with the boys behind

Bureaucrash

.

Further to yesterday's quiz, there were some very odd answers and one person got close. It was indeed the UN building by night. TB stayed with a buddy in his awesome midtown apartment, right opposite the UN last week and couldn't help but think it strange that those particular lights were left on at three am. According to the guy who lived there, different lights are left on different occasions, sometimes none. In a moment of drunken sincerity it certainly looked like they are broadcasting some sort of code or signals out to the world, maybe beyond.

Keep cracking that code.

Pop Quiz

Calling all mathematicians, statisticians and spooks. Can you crack what this "code" is? There is a torybear.com bag up for grabs for whoever correctly guesses where it was being broadcast and what this picture is really of:

Answers in the comments. TB will reveal all tomorrow unless someone gets it.

Your Party Needs You

Conservative Future have gone a

recruitment drive

today. The National Executive are looking to take on three people, much needed after the resignations of two of it's members. TB sadly doesn't carry a copy of the constitution with him, but off the top of his head it states that each chairman is allowed three co-options onto the executive. Richard Jackson and Ed Hallam have already been taken on, leaving one space, plus the replacements for those who have stood down. This upcoming election campaign will be a chance for CF to stick it to the naysayers within the party and really shine. This is a welcome move, though tempted as he is to go for the press role, TB feels he can probably be more useful remaining rogue...

Press & media development

This person will work to help CF branches attract local coverage in both print and broadcast media, as well as on the blogosphere.

They will also work to increase the media coverage for the national organisation, but the focus of the role is on getting local media coverage for individual branches.

Click here to apply for this role

Conservative Future TV

This person will produce regular videos for CF TV looking at political issues of the day and the work CF members are involved with.

They will also work on getting branches to make and send in their own videos.

Click here to apply for this role

Research

This person will focus on research into areas we cover, such as political education and student politics.

They will also work with other CF members to develop policy ideas that can be submitted to the main Party.

Click here to apply for this role

TB is currently at the

Leadership Institute

in DC being trained by the very best of the conservative movement in the US. Their courses are fantastic and insightful and TB recommends that whoever is taken on has received some of this training, either out here or from

YBF

back home.

Best of luck to all the applicants.

Keep dreaming beardy...

"Mr Darling said that he was optimistic about Labour’s prospect at the next general election, despite the party's poor performance in the Norwich North by-election.

“Yes, I do think we can win a general election. I am confident, and I am not noted to be a natural optimist”.

He added that he believed Gordon Brown could win the next election and that the Labour party would “need to fight for every single vote.”"

Once again he is either deluded or a liar. Either deems him unfit for his office.

H/T

Politics Home

Vote Bear

Just a little gentle reminder to vote for Tory Bear in the Total Politics blog poll 2009. It takes a minute

here

. You have until Friday...

Thank you very much.

The Smoking Gun?

So remember when Tom Miller denied that he had any involvement in the red rag conspiracy that saw McBride and Draper go down?

He said he had no idea it was going on, you know the whole attempt to brand conservative bloggers as racists etc. Well thanks to a

eagle-eyed commenter

this has come to TB's attention. TB is suspicious that even Miller could be this stupid:

If this filth is really from Miller then it would seem to be comprehensive proof that, once again, Tom Miller is an odious liar. Though at this point TB is going to insert a caveat. The comment has

seemingly been removed

since it was first published on the 16th of June, but not before the screen-grab was taken, and thus TB cannot verify that he isn't being pranked. If anyone can verify the authenticity of this image then please do get in touch. It would be the smoking gun and comprehensive proof of Miller's true intentions, if it is real. There is something fishy about this though. The line about central office is the real sore thumb.

TB would love it to be real and wonders what the squeaky clean

Game Changer PR

that have Miller as some sort of consultant on the books, would have to say about his less that tactless attempts to smear the Conservatives.

Hmmmm.

What do you mean it's just a big right-wing conspiracy?

Arrived in DC and getting cosy after an unexpected upgrade to a hotel rather than dorms at the

Leadership Institute

. Just across the Potomac in the Arlington Hilton. Jackpot. Been flicking through the photo's TB took back in NYC...

What exactly was the small blue bear doing at Murdoch's place eh?

Not wasting any time...

Seems the removal vans are coming for Labour already.

Visiting an old friend...

TB couldn't have gone to New York and not popped in to see his good friend Winnie the Pooh. They were just getting into an in depth discussion about the merits of honey, and how funny it was that a bear would like it, when the librarian at the Public Library, where Pooh now lives, came to investigate and tell him off for taking photographs.

Though given the size of the small box where Winnie and his friends are kept TB couldn't help but think he belonged back in the One Hundred Acre wood...

TB feels a campaign brewing.

Fantastic News

Only just got to a computer - cracking result.

What is the point of Liberal Youth?

James "little ginger runt" Harrison took the words right out of TB's mouth..."errrrh"

Painful to watch.

Just Tax

While TB is across the pond he feels duty bound to pick up on a little local news. This video has been doing the rounds here. It seems the GOP are finally getting with the program. After a series of dreadful attempts at getting down with the kids on the interweb, the right are finally errr.. getting it right - 100k hits so far. Yes the video is budget, amateur and camp as hell, but at least it will make people laugh and doesn't attempt to be anything other than a humorous look at what is going on right now.



If you didn't laugh you would cry.

Good Morning, it's polling day...

Aaah haa. TB is very sorry he didn't make it up to Norwich for the by-election campaign but by all accounts it has been a solid effort. Best of luck to Chloe Smith who looks set to be returned as the new member. Looking

at this

reminded TB of about this time last year when he and a few others were in Henley for that campaign, and polling day was particularly fun:

If anyone comes up with something better this morning in Norwich then send in the pics...

What's on your mind?

TB is enjoying his holiday. Lots of grilling and sipping ice cold brewskis in the New Jersey sunshine. His mobile isn't working and he is rarely at a computer. That's where you lot come in...

Anyone fancy writing a guest post should get in touch. Five to six hundred words max and the funnier the better. Conspiracy theorist nutters please don't waste your time even sending stuff.

Go on... help TB... send him something good and it will appear up here.

"I'll have what she's having..."

TB is having a wicked time in New York, but today's lunch deserves a post of it's own. You haven't lived until you've had a sandwich from

Katz's Deli

in the Lower East Side. Home of that scene from When Harry Met Sally, Katz's Reuban sandwich was quite simply the greatest thing TB has ever eaten. He was lost for words for a good hour.

Enough said.

Coulson bitchslaps Watson

TB hasn't had the chance to watch the whole of Coulson's breeze through the select committee, but this cutting put down of the retired attack dog Tom Watson is fantastic:



Ouch.

Bear in the USA

TB has only just found time to catch up on a computer. His mobile isn't working here, and that if anything is adding to the fun. Within hours of touching down TB was sipping beers in a hot tub.. it's a tough life. So what is he missing?

It seems McBride has reared his ugly head once again. His nauseating return was a poor attempt to begin the redemption process that, if anything, only served to remind people what a spinner he really was. His interview with the Guardian was appropriately conducted in a pub...

Clearly where Damian has spent the last three months hiding if the photo is anything to go by.

Dave and Tony

Peter Oborne's column

today is a must read:

"Indeed, although from a rival party, Tony Blair actually supports many things that Conservatives cherish deeply - above all the alliance with America, the financial independence of the City and the importance of free markets in world trade."

Only one man can stop President Blair - but is Dave really so adverse to the idea?

Start spreading the news...

...TB's leaving today. Like the Republican preppy look?

It's going to be a slow weekend here as TB is now very much on his way to New York. He will be catching up with an old buddy, doing a wee bit of fundraising and also working on something rather exciting. He should still have time to get the odd thing up here though. Will then be training it down to Washington to meet up with the

YBF posse

at the

Leadership Institute

for some good right wing and media indoctrination before heading to the

Young America's Foundation

conference.

So time to crank up the English accent and attempt to recreate that wonderful scene from Love Actually.

Ed: PS - TB (pictured) has been on quite an adventure recently. After he was shamelessly kidnapped from a CF event by a young lady and ultimately only rescued by the coordinated hostage rescue efforts of Mark Clarke and Matt Richardson, the bear has been all over London it seems. Thank you to everyone who has contributed in some way to his wardrobe in the last few weeks - be it the Henley boater, the bikers leathers, or even the cool new trainers. Much appreciated and there is a fashion show to follow...

Wine + Email = Banter

After Guido's gentle piss take of Ed Vaizey

yesterday

, it seems that he has responded, sort of:

Something tells TB that a certain amount of booze was consumed before that first email was sent.

You can follow

TB's favourite feminist

, who was apparently a member of the party once upon a time, on Twitter

here

.

Quote of the Day

"Jogging is for people who are not intelligent enough to watch breakfast television".

-Ken Clarke

Via

Paul Waugh

#plot

Well it was pretty much inevitable that TB was going to spend his last day at work for six weeks feeling a little under the weather. Last night's drinks were a roaring success and was great to put names to new faces and sink pints with old ones. Thinking the karaoke might have to become a monthly thing...

Another morning sipping the diet coke eh.

Drinkies...

The joke about Conservative Friends of Ireland seemed to go over quite a few heads but either way TB is sure much Guinness will be consumed.

If you want to join the big right-wing conspiracy drinks then ping over an email for the location and we will be there from six. TB will be the the handsome dark haired one with the harem of blondes on his arm.

TB has been made responsible for setting up the hash tag for the evening on Twitter -

#plot

Guest Post - Christian May

Having mentioned Laurie Penny earlier today, it seems she annoys someone else too:

LabourList

came about as part of an attempt to counter the growing success and influence of

ConservativeHome

. However, whereas the latter hosts serious policy discussions and conducts interesting research, the former has simply become a forum for disgruntled left-wingers to rant and moan. One article in particular sums up this approach.

Laurie Penny

, a 22 year old "blogger and activist" has written an extraordinary piece on the recent "

Every Family Matters

" report from the superb

Centre for Social Justice

. By way of introducing Penny, let's look at her

LabourList biography

: "Likes include: boots, books, fags, tea, socialist feminism. Dislikes include: bigotry, green peppers, people who think short people are funny." I don't know Penny's height, but I do get a chuckle out of seeing Hazel Blears behind a podium.

Her article has the catchy headline: Undermining reproductive freedoms, sellotaping together unhappy couples and bribery - the Tory agenda for Happy Families, and it pretty much sets the tone for the rest of her rant. It’s littered with clever little phrases like “Torygeddon” and “evilly recalcitrant plans.” Honestly, you’d think we Conservatives were planning to slaughter the first born. (Mind you, this is the level of rhetoric and debate that we’ve come to expect from a dying Labour movement).

Let’s deal with some of the specifics in her “article” for a moment. Apparently, Conservatives want to see ‘men in the office, women in the kitchen.’ Not sure where she got this one from, but it just shows her out of date and out of touch she is. Moving on, we learn that “Cameron and his cronies simply do not LIKE women who live independent lives, or single parents, or gay people, or people with alternative notions of what a free and happy family constitutes." Is she referring to the same ‘cronies’ that support same sex marriage, favour equality and have today announced plans to make it easier for people to care for disabled relatives? It would appear so.

There’s absolutely no depth or focus to her rant. It’s just a collection of student union style debating points. Here’s my absolute favourite: Referring to the planned tax break for married couples, she says “that kind of logic is cargo-cultism, and it’s lazy, and it’s stupid, and it won’t work because it’s stupid.” In other words, “Toreez smell and I don’t like them because they’re smelly and they smell.” I think Penny should grow up. Her views are out of date, unhelpful and riddled with inverted snobbery.

The Centre for Social Justice has come up with more proposals for helping the worse off than a decade of Labour government has managed. The left simply don’t like the fact that the problems that they’ve claimed as “their own” (unemployment, deprivation, youth crime etc) are in fact best tackled with conservative policies, as opposed to quangos, targets, officers and committees.

Penny concludes that she doesn’t want live in a country run by Conservatives. Who is going to miss her?

Ed: On your bike love.

Go on...

TB would be very grateful if you could please vote for him

here

.

Nothing like a Dale list to make it all worth while.

Shame...

Seems chippy little Tom Miller is now stopping people reading his insane ravings on his "

Newer Labour

" blog. Presumably his border-line communist outlook and unwavering support for Chavez doesn't quite fit the

Game Changer

image where he is now a "consultant".

Quite what he consults on is a mystery, but it seems TB is going to have to find some new lefty bloggers to wind up. The irratating and batshit crazy

Laurie Penny

and tory-boy-thumper

Grace Fletcher-Hackwood

immediatly come to mind.

Let the games begin...

On the street where you (don't) live...

Net curtains twitched in Peckham last week when a camera crew turned up, yet again, outside Jacqui Smith’s sister Sara’s house. Jacqui’s “landlord” popped her head out of the window to establish the identity of the mysterious film-makers but didn’t have to wait too long to find out who they were. Sara hadn’t realised she was talking to her sister’s sworn enemy, Chris Galley, who is mounting a private prosecution against the former Home Secretary over her misuses of expenses.

Even with the sister’s tantrum edited out, the online video has managed to pull in over £8,000 worth of donations to Galley’s legal fees in just 24 hours.

Originally printed in the

Evening Standard

.

Awkward Kodak Moment of the Year

Ed Balls is clearly on a bit of a charm offensive with the lobby pack.

He posted

this picture tonight from his summer drinks reception at the Department for Kids and Families and Children and the most definitely not the Treasury (DCSF).

TB isn't sure who looks the most uncomfortable. Lansdale might just have it. Blinky is a tool of the highest order and this lot know it.

No sign of Fraser Nelson at the party!

Bring Jacqui to Justice

The

Sunlight Centre

desperately needs your help to raise the funds for their court action against Jacqui Smith. As revealed in this morning's

Daily Mail

they are privately prosecuting her for fraud.

Former Home Office mole Chris Galley is

leading the charge

. Having spent months working just metres from Jacqui Smith and having access to her diaries, he isn't convinced by her protestations that she spent more time in her sisters spare room than in her family home in Redditch.

Please donate to the Sunlight COPs

here

.

(Before the lefty tin foil hatters get stuck in, TB will declare at this point, as has been said many times, that he works for the

Sunlight Centre

, which is a non-partisan, not for profit organisation.)

Well at least someone is...

Rather embarrassing really.

H/T -

WCT

It's just a big right-wing conspiracy...

This Thursday, 6pm, will see the inaugural AGM of the CFI - The Conservative Friends of Ireland at a yet undisclosed location in Westminster. If you feel that you qualify to join such an esteemed society then do drop TB an email for an invite.

Joking apart TB is off to the states and France for six weeks so will be good to get some drinks in before he heads off. Would particularly like to put some faces to a few names - get in touch if you fancy joining us.

Dizzy, Guido, The Devil.. Could get turn into a heavy night.

Sam Tarry's Lies:

Seems nobody bothered to send the chairman of Young Labour the memo that pulled the plug on Labour's deceitful and malicious lies that only the Tories would be the ones cutting after the 2010 election.

Here is what was just mailed out to the members:

Subject: Campaign Weekend in Norwich North

Hi its Sam Tarry here, National Chair of Young Labour,

I'm asking you to come and get stuck into the Tory's [sic.] this weekend with Young Labour - We're fighting a close by-election this week and the dividing lines have been drawn. These are tough times indeed - but Conservative planned cuts will ravage our public services and decimate our communities - we know that only Labour will keep investing to help ordinary working people. So come and help deliver that message on the doorsteps on Norwich this weekend.

With bullshit like that Gordon would be proud but maybe Sam should look at little closer at the briefing notes from Victoria Street. Even

Wes Streeting

the NUS President, and fellow receiver of said briefings, has managed keep up to date and on message recently.

Labour are clearly getting desperate in this by-election to the extent that Tarry throws the kitchen sink at the tories by linking to the now infamous Don't Panic video and then has to resort to begging his rapidly declining membership to come along.

Not exactly the most positive of campaigns being run by Young Labour. What a surprise.

On that freedom all our other freedoms depend.

TB is very busy today. Big surprise tomorrow, but in the mean time stumbled across this old gem again:



Ahhh. Normal service resumes tonight.

Don't want to go school today...

Busy day. Too much wine last night. Grumpy.

Dizzy joins the Village People

Provocative headline aside,

Dizzy

is featured on Newsnight tonight talking about his sustained and noble campaign against No10 and their continued cover up of what exactly they sell in their gift shop. Surreal but hilarious, this three min clip is well worth a watch:

Mark Wallace

hit the nail on the head with his tweet: "

@dizzy_thinks

good performance on Newsnight! You even dressed exactly as the Westminster village imagines bloggers to!"

Sound and Slick...

Is it just TB or has anyone else noticed how slick the CCHQ videos are getting? It's looking good for the election. Such a shame we can't buy airtime and get this sort of thing viewed by millions instead of thousands. Allowing political parties to buy advertising would destroy the stranglehold the media and lobby have over our politicians, who have to creep round them and vica-versa. But that's a debate for another day...



In the meantime the new approach to aid has some fantastic ideas and is a fantastic video.

Harperson finally goes round the bend...

"LABOUR is riding to the rescue of another down-trodden minority group - Northerners.
Harriet Harman is drawing up plans to stamp out discrimination against Scousers, Geordies and people from Yorkshire.
Labour's deputy leader wants to get more people from the regions on to the boards of major public bodies.
Ms Harman is planning to impose special quotas to boost numbers - just as she has done for women, gay people and ethnic minorities.
She fears too many organisations are run by executives from London and the South East."

Oh lordy, she's really

scraping the barrel

now. What the hell is wrong with this woman?

Anyone hear the one about the Scouser, the Geordie and the person from Yorkshire who walked into a bar?

Exclusive: Ed Hallam has poked Lucy Roblin

There has been much speculation about whether or not Lucy Roblin the Vice Chairman of

CLWCF

had received a poke from Ed Hallam, the Chairman. Well TB can reveal once and for all Hallam has poked Roblin:

Smirk.

Boris Saves the Day

Great little story from PR Week

about Boris and his Twitter feed coming to the rescue of the some irate bus passengers. Not sure what is more shocking - the fact Boris apparently knows what is happening on his Twitter account...

...Or the fact

David Singleton

managed to write a positive piece about someone who wasn't Labour.

Monday Morning Totty Watch:

TB is not sure that this is the right reaction to be having to an

article from The Guardian

, of all places, about the under-representation of women in the Conservative Party, but he thought it deserved some coverage. To be fair they started it by including

a whole gallery

. Before you sniveling lefties get all emotional, TB is a big fan of this charge by the ladies through the party ranks... who wouldn't be:

It has to be said that CF's very own Liza Chantelle and Anna Fazackerley from Policy Exchange are looking particularly fine.

Weekly Cartoon from Posh Tory:

Can but hope and pray it happens for real soon.

Dinner?

So anyone fancy being wined and dined by Tory Bear? All you have to do is be the 1000th person to

follow him on Twitter

...

The winner has to be able to get to central London, will have to be in early September too. Numbers can fluctuate a little from day to day so just be the first person to email TB with a screengrab of you being the 1000th follower. Sixty odd to go.

Who will the winner be?

Male or female? Lads- TB will get the beers in and then something manly like curry. Ladies... well it will be a slightly more civilised evening. See above.

Follow TB on Twitter

here

. Good luck.

Summer Reading

TB finds himself reading fewer and fewer books these days so it's always nice to reclaim that forgotten sense of satisfaction you just don't get online. He has a couple of reads to recommend as thoughts turn toward packing bags and beaches. One fun, one slightly heavier.

A Useful Fiction

is a must read for anyone who has ever looked at devolution in the United Kingdom and thought, hold on.. what about little old England? Broadcaster Patrick Hannan gives a fairly comprehensive look at the last ten years of the little devolution project and doesn't hold his punches. In the way that only the SNP can, the celebrations of the last few weeks over the ten year anniversary were highly politicised and it's rather refreshing to finally hear someone put a well justified dampener on it all.

With the dust still settling on the expenses scandal it didn't take long for some entrepreneurial types to get the handy guide book to the whole saga out in just weeks.

The Little Book of Big Expenses

does exactly what it says on the tin. If you don't like to see political types savaged in a brutal and irreverent style then TB wouldn't recommend reading. If however you want to take the piss out of the troughing bastards and want a handy comedy index of what went on then go grab a copy now. The comedy redactions got TB some very funny looks on the tube the other morning. Think there were a couple of snorts.

Would cry if he didn't laugh.

Who dunnit?

Got a rather interesting text message:

"An unsuccessful attempt has been made to access your Voicemail
account. If this attempt was not made by you, please contact Customer
Care on 191 immediately."

Give TB some credit, he's not that silly. Not sure what

the thug

is still moaning about not being told about having his phone "hacked".

Why can't he just retire gracefully?

Totty Watch: QT Special

TB didn't catch Question Time last night, but there was much post-boozy lunch excitement when a rather inebriated co-worker returned having remembered he had fallen in love with this rather lovely lady from the audience last night. About 13 mins in

here.

Anyone know who she is?

Who was the hackette?

The delectable Kevin Maguire is putting a

bit of stick about

for Gordon once again:

"Home Secretary Alan Johnson was a picture of innocence during the plot to oust Brown and replace him with a former postie with the initials A J. Not so his entourage. It has come to the attention of No 10 that one of his team offered a job in Downing Street to a hackette."

Via the

Coffee House

this little bit of gossip begs the question - who was the hackette?

Could it have been

Allegra Stratton

?

Her articles did play a rather key role in the botched attempt to oust Brown?

In Dave We Trust

He hasn't quite got the Messiah like qualities of Obama quite yet, but things are looking good for Dave.

Apparently

he could be a direct descendant of Moses.

An actual watergate...

Iain Dale

has a wonderful scoop this morning about the fact the Liberal Democrat candidate in the Norwich By-Election April Pond has a rather lovely house... surrounded by a defensive trough full of stagnant water.

Yes one of the few things that really came to symbolise the expenses scandal was the ol' moat cleaning. No wonder Pond was Clegg's third choice for candidate. Was it really very wise of the dead duckers to choose a woman, who not only isn't very local, but during a by-election that will be dominated by the scandal is hardly a clean break from it?

Looking a little closer.. wait... what is that? Is that... is that... a duck house floating there?

Sorry who is Vince Clegg?

It is often said that Vince Cable should be the leader of the Liberal Democrats but someone in Liberal Youth is clearly a little confused...

These pictures sent to TB from last weekend's "Activate" weekend for the yellow kids are apparently from a training seminar where they were being taught by Cowley Street officials about leaflet writing. Anyone who has even gazed half an eye over any Lib Dem election literature will recognise the usual lies and bullshit that they push on the doorstep. Looks like the record isn't going to change anytime soon.

Particularly enjoyed the "Vince Clegg saves Christmas" line. Surprised the deluded dead duckers haven't pushed that one for real yet.