Possibly the most ridiculous idea ever.

Ok so say you wanted to recruit young people to a fun and entertaining organisation. Say you didn't want to put people off with having a bit of a stuffy reputation or bad press. Say you wanted to get people to come along to social events and reward them for all their hard work.

Sound familiar yet?

Well here is a tip you can have for free - don't make stupid bloody responsible drinking campaigns anything to do with us. This is not what we are about. Much more of this and we will be a laughing stock.

News has reached TBHQ from a Social Action mole that a certain young NME member is all set to promote her ideas of a nationwide "Responsible Drinking Campaign" apparently sponsored by Sminoff (ironic no?)

Wow way to go. How to embarrass ourselves by being namby pampy nanny knows best tossers!

Come to this party and Tory Bear will give you a crash course in responsible drinking.

Every time TB hears something about this blue duck saving, lad mag banning killjoy wing of the party he gets into such a rage! Now there is nothing personal here but it's no wonder national newspapers suggest that ten years ago these people would have not been in the Conservative Party. When will they get it - our entire point is that we want to give people more control over their lives, let people make decisions and remove the constant breathing of the state down our necks. We should be fighting this, we should be saying no to these campaigns. We should be going into schools and teaching them about freedom, not to rant at them about vodka and open ourselves to complete ridicule.

Anti-binge drinking campaign for sixth formers?

Oh piss off back to Labour Students.