It's not all swampies you know...

Sound.

Photos-

Tim Montgomerie

Anagram of the week...

Just spotted this

little gem

from Mr Hannan:

I AM GORDON BROWN = MAD ON BORROWING

Where there is discord, may we bring harmony...

As the dust settles on the Liberal Youth elections, may TB take this opportunity to congratulate their moron-in-chief James Harrison for getting elected to their committee on Bagshaw's coat-tails. Harrison is Scotland's most eminent "

video-blogger

" and on account of having few or no friends, decides to broadcast his inane views to the world on a near daily basis. Bless.

So there it is the future of Liberal Youth. Not a bunch of lookers it seems. In his previous post TB mentioned that Bagshaw had some serious work to do build some of the bridges that have been burnt in this shambled and embarrassing election. Tonight an already exasperated source has got in touch to report that it's not going to well so far:

“Looks like Vicky's hit the ground running with both her and her London lieutenant Edwin Loo going into overdrive announcing their plans for campaigns - which is odd because the VC campaigns doesn't seem to be involved - and though he seems to be keeping a lid on it in public with just a few veiled comments on the forums, if I know anything he'll be fucking livid that his portfolio's being walked all over before the new term even begins. Ben pretty much ran Sara's campaign until the infamous heckle so it looks a bit like Elaine's trying to manage him out already. Start as you mean to go on, eh?”

Elaine has nailed her true colours to the post - Rather than spending a few days contacting her newly elected committee, nursing some tense relationships, she has swanned off to Blackpool to get pissed with her labour mates "observe" the NUS conference. Nice waste of £300 if you ask this bear but hey you can take the girl out of Labour Students, but you can't take the Labour students out of the girl.

TB has spies in Blackpool and will be reporting any goss or banter. Don't hold your breath though. It's apparently dull.

Very, very dull.

Thank you for the music...

There has been much rejoicing across the free world today as Elaine Bagshaw was returned as Liberal Youth Chair. That's right kids, we have another year of banter and jokes at the expense of this authoritarian, incompetent and obnoxious woman. The former New Labour hack has successfully managed to stamp out the opposition to a leadership style that many have found some what testing. Interesting to note the very high number of voters who wished for nominations to be re-opened and when that figure is added to the votes for Bagshaw's opponents, she managed to squeak through with just a four votes. Pretty much half the organisation (that bothered to vote, and my my that is a low turnout for what is an apparently "Liberal generation"!) don't want Bagshaw and she is going to have to some how rebuild the bridges that she and her heinous henchmen have burnt in this election.

These elections have upset the Liberal Youth apple cart in a big way

. Not only has Bagshaw treated her membership with contempt but she has also severely pissed off the staff at Liberal Democrat HQ. The news of her victory has seemingly been greeted with weary acceptance, especially as most of the voters sent back their ballots before TB started livening things up and revealing just what an idiot Miss Bagshaw can be.

And what a farcical election it was. The whole organisation was leaking like the Titanic. There was a flurry of briefings and counter briefings and anonymous tip offs that made CF look like a bunch of amateurs. If the real Lib Dems were such keen media operators, the dead duck party might actually get some press coverage from time to time. Looking forward to seeing Bagshaw exact her revenge on those who doubted her and restore her iron fist on the membership.

So lets all charge a glass and toast this victory. It's going to be a brilliant year.

NewsBiscuit on cracking form:

Adult movie star Lustie Blowes is facing questions over her future as the industry’s leading hardcore actress after ‘mistakenly’ claiming the cost of her husband’s Sky TV subscription to the BBC Parliament channel on her pornography expenses.

The embarrassing mistake came to light after her husband, Nigel Blowes, admitted to watching three hours of political material, including Prime Minister’s Question Time, Andrew Neil’s Straight Talk and a special report on the Parliamentary Standards Commission. Porn producers say the matter has undermined the credibility of Mrs Blowes, who is said to be ‘mortified’ by the error.

‘Nigel is deeply ashamed that he watched this material and the sordid, grubby business of politics was allowed into our home. It was a momentary lapse in his judgement and he assures me that he usually only ever watches hardcore pornography like any normal married man.’

Never fails to make TB chuckle.

+++VICKY POLLARD WINS+++

Liberal Youth Election results just in:

Muhammed Elias Ali -- 4
Elaine Bagshaw -- 148
Sara Scarlett -- 92
R.O.N -- 44

developing...

"Who is Ian Thomas?"

In the words of Eric Pickles when the Parliament security told him about

last night's incident

outside his party, TB was wondering who Ian Thomas was too. The papers have named him as the forty year old head of Suger Media, an Islington based company. Sadly their

website appears to be down

at the moment, but like any good media honcho should know, the internet lasts forever:

Here's what the

Google Cache

had to say about Mr Thomas:

The

publisher

of the

Student Times

who clearly can't handle his Brentwood brewed beers is known for his flamboyant personality....

Bit of an understatement really if flamboyant means triggering an security scare and getting pepper sprayed.

Guest Post - Top 10 Sexiest Male MPs

TB commented last week that with the state of the Blair Babes 12 years on, it was no surprise that the UK didn't do too well in the rankings of the worlds sexiest female politicians. This however upset Tory Bear's favourite lefty feminist Gabi Jones, from the Women of the World organisation. TB has clashed with Gabi in the past,

very publicly

in the letters section of a student paper over the old "Life's better under a conservative" poster. So for the sake of sexual equality and what not, TB will let Gabi brighten up your Tuesday morning with a round up of the UK's sexiest male politicians...


As a long-time reader of Tory Bear, I am very excited to have been invited to compile a list of the top ten sexiest British male politicians. For a long time I have been criticised for my dreadful taste in men – something I fervently dispute – but with such an attractive lot representing us, this list is filled with the best of British.

1. Ed Vaizey – Conservative, MP for Wantage & Didcot

Rolling in at number 1 is the Adonis of Westminster, 40 year old Ed Vaizey. After seeing Ed’s numerous appearances on The Wright Stuff, I have fallen for his undeniable charm and charisma. Ed looks good in a suit, has a gorgeous voice and a slight receding hairline – what more could you actually want? I just wish I lived in his constituency. Sigh.

2.

Adam Afriyie – Conservative, MP for Windsor

In terms of justifying my choice, I think this amazing photo is reason enough. Body-wise, Mr Afriyie is the Elle McPherson of male politicians. I’d go running with him any day.

3. David Cameron – Conservative, MP for Witney

I appreciate this is turning into a bit of a Tory-fest but maybe life is better on top of a Conservative? Tory leader David is confident, powerful and arrogant – AKA very, very sexy. However, it’s clear whenever DC is with his wife Samantha and their children that he is caring, compassionate and quite a nice guy. Shame he’s married…

4. Daniel Hannan – Conservative, MEP for South East England

Never having heard of Daniel before his infamous attack on Gordon Brown in Strasbourg, I am putting him high up at number 4 completely for that speech. Good public speaking is always a turn-on and Daniel’s eloquence, presence and anger combined make him a very desirable man – at least on YouTube. Some might say he’s going a bit bald but I think on the right man, a bit of thinning on top can actually look quite good and Daniel certainly pulls it off. Did I mention that speech?

5. Adrian Ramsay – Green, Deputy Party Leader

Okay, maybe I’m cheating slightly because Adrian isn’t actually elected to parliament yet, but it looks likely to happen in the near future. Finally, a left-winger to add to this list! Adrian is young, handsome and joined the Green Party at just 16. Set to unseat Charles Clark in the next election, Adrian might make Westminster that bit more attractive. My leftist heart is beating fast.

6. Jeremy Hunt – Conservative, MP for South West Surrey

And we’re back to the Tories – I think I might be flattering the egos of quite a few TB readers here… Mr Hunt is another politician with a divine receding hairline; add his language skills and charity work to that… Well, you just would. Apparently Jeremy runs regular surgeries with his constituents; I might just move to Farnham.

7. David Lammy – Labour, MP for Tottenham

David Lammy doesn’t exactly scream sexy, but he’s got something about him. Not too good at general knowledge, I’m guessing that his strengths lie elsewhere…

8. George Osborne – Conservative, MP for Tatton

He’s arrogant as they come and I really should dislike him, but George Osborne is yet another Tory that I find myself extremely attracted to. Maybe I should concede defeat to my lust for Tories and sign up? On second thoughts…

9. Tobias Ellwood – Conservative, MP for Bournemouth East

Tobias has this, ‘I raised lions and lived in Africa for a long time’ Born Free-ness about him. Actually, he was born in New York and raised in Austria; always a fan of well-travelled men, I definitely approve of this. I’m also a big admirer of the receding hairline / thick head of hair combination.

10. William Hague – Conservative, MP for Richmond

Admittedly, Mr Hague isn’t exactly a looker, but he does have the sexiest voice in Westminster and for that alone he deserves a spot in my top ten. What I would give to have him whisper in my ear.

This list is overwhelmingly leaning to the right, okay; I admit I have a thing for Tories. Maybe it’s their infuriating politics? I think my friends were definitely justified in buying me one of TB’s own ‘I kissed a Tory… and I liked it’

t-shirts

for my birthday…

You can follow Gabi on Twitter

here

.

How do you like them apples?

There is a certain breed of

New Labour apparatchik

who loves to spout off about how great Cuba and Chile are at proving that socialism is a realistic concept for the 21st century. They purr on about how great Cuba's health care system is and how we should all be forced to pay the levels of taxation that they endure to prop it up. TB has got into spats before with these sort of

naive scumbags

and was wondering how they would like to respond to some developments in Parliament recently. TB has spent some time in Cuba and while he had a very pleasant time on the beach sipping rum and smoking Cohibas, the island is far from the political paradise these idiots try to make it out to be. Scratch beneath the surface and there is a population desperate to break free.

John Bercow, for his faults, has managed to say something sensible for once that might actually upset the Labour backbenchers he is so desperately trying to butter up for his anticipated bid for Speaker.

ConservativeHome

has picked up on this exchange from

Hansard

:

"John Bercow: To ask the Secretary of State for Foreign and Commonwealth Affairs what reports he has received of the number of people convicted of the crime of social dangerousness in Cuba in each of the last five years. [265458]

Gillian Merron: We are very concerned about the use of charges of "social dangerousness" in Cuba to arrest those whom the Cuban authorities believe may cause a crime in the future.

During Cuba's review at the Human Rights Council in February 2009, the UK recommended that Cuba refrain from using such laws to restrict the rights of freedom of expression and association.

The Cuban government does not publish statistics on the number of people convicted on these grounds, but the non-governmental Cuban commission for human rights and national reconciliation, estimates that there are currently between 3,000 and 5,000 people in prison in Cuba convicted of “pre-criminal social dangerousness.”

Our embassy in Havana has requested these figures from the Cuban authorities and I will write if we receive a reply."

A typically shallow and weak response from the Left. The Minister should have damned the Cuban government to eternal outcast until they pack this appalling behaviour in. Presumptively locking someone up is a despicable violation of basic freedoms and so over to you

Mr Miller

.

Defend your beloved Castro now. TB dares you.

He's still TB's favourite Labour MP but...

If

Tom Harris's blog

proves anything it's that Labour MPs are, believe it not, real people, and at least one of them has a sense of humour. It's normally a good place to go for some avuncular, insidery gossip or analysis. However whenever he tries to go on the all out attack on the tories it just back fires and leaves Mr Harris looking like a wannabe Draper or Sion Simon. His attacks just seem to grate and weaken his normally spot on analysis.

Now Tom Harris understands why the right dominate the blogs, he has worked hard to nurture a community around his own, and responds and talks to his readers. To some extent he tolerates tories, (unlike Dolly et all.) Dan Han and his youtube hit has really given the Left the needle however, and its driving them nuts!

Tom completely misses the mark

in claiming that the fact that Dan Han was such a hit proves that the Conservatives are still the nasty party, and just because Dan is a eurosceptic it means anything he has to say is a load of tosh. Well frankly it's Harris that is spouting the tosh. In case he hadn't noticed, Hannan's speech had nothing to do with Europe but instead was an articulate and precise attack that hit every chink in Gordon's armour. More than that, it was also what many Americans wished they could say to Obama but have yet to find the voice, hence it's success across the pond. It wasn't just an attack on Brown and his government, but instead it was an attack on Obama and the whole dangerous borrow-and-spend-to-stimulate consensus that needs to be stamped out.

Labour have been caught off their guard by the Dan Han sensation. It's coming up for 2 million views and they are left scratching heads. Instead of attempting to attack it for ridiculous reasons about Europe, why not take a long hard look in the mirror instead and allow yourselves to realise that this man is speaking the truth and the reason it is so popular is because it's correct! There is something about the Dan Han attacks that seem static and reserved when compare to Tom's usual flowing style. Is his heart really in them?

Come on Mr Harris you could be the Labour's Dan Han if you used your platform and following to be the boy to call out the emperor...

Starting at the top...

TB has been taking a peek at the this years MPs expenses claims. As the

Twitterati

have pointed out, it's great to see Gerry Adams right at the top of the list claiming 150k for not sitting in the House of Commons. Oink.

However what really struck TB at first look is why the hell is Gordon Brown claiming taxpayers cash for time spent away from his main home? Granted his constituency is some 500 miles from Westminster but surely Downing Street is a convenient enough resting place after all those long hours saving the world?

Why the hell has he spent

nearly £20,000

on other properties or hotels? The figure is pretty similar to that of other Scottish MPs who don't have the luxury of the 10 Downing Street apartment, or an official grace and favour property that comes with being a high profile minister, which suggests this isn't additional time away from London or Scotland in his official capacity as PM.

Someone has got some er er er er explaining to do.

Let the games begin:

MPs expenses have just been published.

Happy hunting.

+++no doubt more to follow+++

Oh sweet Jesus...

Via

Oliver Shah's blog

TB is having a good old chuckle at the

new course

offered at Birmingham City University:

Described as “very relevant and very scholarly” by

convenor Jon Hickman

, the course offers field-trips - perhaps to internet cafes - along with seminars and “research workshops”.

Is the MA in Social Media for me?

If you are a media or cultural studies graduate, have experience in the web, PR, or marketing industries, and want an opportunity to explore the emerging area of social media through scholarly research or practice, then: yes.

That's right kids, for four grand you get to spend a year of your life being taught how to use Twitter, Facebook and MySpace. TB presumes that all written work and tutorials will be conducted in 140 characters or less?

There has been talk of micky-mouse degrees for many years. Golf course management, tourism and geography coming to mind immediately, but this is a new low. Tory Bear has a solution, instead of wasting £4000 to spend a year in Birmingham, in a room where everyone is on a laptop, TB will teach you everything you need to know about blogging and social networking in a week for £200.

Enroll in the comments now.

TPA goes viral...

It's all the rage these days...

+++Breaking: Dale turns down TV appearence+++

Shock waves are being felt around the media world tonight after it emerged

Iain Dale

has turned down a TV appearance. It is understood that Iain broke the news to the GMTV producers privately, before announcing the ultimate bitch slap to the world via his

Twitter feed

:

GMTV were unavailable for comment.

+++developing+++

And now the end is near...

As the carnival of embarrassment that was the Liberal Youth Chairman elections is wound up, TB thought we should all have a little competition to end things. For your chance to win a I ♥ TB thong just be the person to correctly guess the results of the election in the comments section below. Obviously include some sort of name...

So whether you think it really will be poor Liberal Youth and Elaine has spun enough to cling on, or Sara will break the age old curse of the one who wields the sword never wearing the crown, have a guess to the nearest few votes below. Don't forget the mysterious Ali candidate who never campaigned or the Re-Open Nominations option.


It's been a long old slog for the girls, with some ups and down and TB is glad to have done his part to aid the democratic process and accountability. The voting closes tomorrow and TB will try get you a result as soon as possible, though he understands some attempts are going to be made to try send him he wrong results, (oh those pesky Lib Dem kids and their sense of humour!) So will let you all know as soon as he has a definate confirmed result.

Good luck.

How far can they push it?

Nigel's shagging in his office, Harry's lining his pockets, Jacqui's husband and paid employee is charging his porno to the taxpayer, meanwhile McNulty has gone off the radar. There will be riots in the street this week, the government is collapsing before our eyes and yet they are carrying on as if nothing has happened. The question must be asked, what does a Minister of the Crown have to do before he or she feels it necessary to resign? Think about Profumo, Smith, Aitkin, Mellor and even to some extent Mandelson. When this lot got busted taking advantage of their position or bringing the government or their party into disrepute they had the decency to fall on their sword and quit.

But no, Ms Smith, Mr Cohen, Mr McNulty and Mr Griffiths are so out of touch with public opinion, so detached, so arrogant that they feel that they can soldier on with little need to even apologise for their mistakes. The stench of corruption and deceit around this government is becoming overwhelming. Can they really last another 13 months?

They are no different from common thieves and has anyone reminded Mr Griffiths that Blunkett banned sex in the workplace? It seems that the Labour government can get away with a host of crimes. What would a minister have to do before they were forced to resign?

This government is decaying and by god sleaze and scandal is back.

Are you a Dan Han Fan?

Just spotted the Dan Hannan facebook fan page:

Get involved

here

.

Well it seems sex scandals are all the rage again. Nigel's tried to get the Screws

silenced

, and failed and just watch Mr Smith

cringe and squirm

after he

charged

an evening with Madam Palm and her five lovely daughters to the taxpayer.

And if that wasn't enough, here are TB's must read articles from the rest of the Sunday papers:

• The Telegraph reports that the Government overtakes P&G in terms of advertising.

• Lord Myners may be in trouble for his tax haven hypocrisy but it seems he's also a drag queen according to the NOTW.

• India Knight has some home truths about rape and one night stands in The Times

• David Mitchell grins and bears the recession in The Observer

• The Times also has a pretty scary letter from a nutter in Wales.

Rules of political campaigning #87

Anyone who has ever stood in an election that has got a little dirty, or has had very vocal opponents or faced unfriendly press knows one golden rule that must never be broken. If someone makes an accusation against you, never ever repeat it as it gives it bite. Nixon's "I'm not a crook!" being the most famous example of this, yet it never fails to surprise TB just how stupid people can be at times.
Say you were standing for re-election after a year in office where you narrowly escaped a cop and also cocked up massively on the one project that would be the most obvious and visual impact your organisation would make in a year. Would you try to put these attacks in the past, learn from them and grow, or would you stupidly think it would be a good idea to regurgitate them all over the internet in some shallow defensive move. Well once again step forward Miss Elaine Bagshaw of Liberal Youth:

(click to enlarge)

TB has managed to track down some screen shots of the short lived Mythbuster page on Bagshaw's

re-election site

. They disappeared after any Lib Dem activist with a brain laughed their head off. They make for an interesting read and they are a pathetic attempt at redemption after a year of failure. One thing TB has noticed that really riles any member of Liberal Youth is any mention of their Freshers recruitment campaign this year. Apparently the rumour went about that Elaine had allegedly paid over £500 for the design of the materials without signing off on them with her executive or the Cowley St staffer. TB often laughed at, though ultimately dismissed the recurring joke that the materials were designed on MS Paint. Having seen them though, he doesn't know what to believe now:

Apart from being just generally awful they do look a lot like something designed on Paint, especially when they are enlarged.