That damn bear!

TB will be upping his security at TBHQ after a leftish plot to see him given the orginal Guy Fawkes treatement has been revealed:

Read all about it

here

!

Totty Watch:

In just a couple of hours of the contest being called, there were already enough nominations for TB to run the competition for three weeks. Clearly with recess being called the bag-carriers don't have much to do! So here we go with round one.. ding ding.

So for the ladies we have cute Jenny Dorries, the 20 year old daughter of Nadine Dorries the MP for Mid-Bedfordshire, treat this young lady well or you'll have her mother to answer to. Never a good thing as many a man will testify:

TB would at this point like to salute Romford's finest Andrew Rosindell MP. It seems that old Rozza has filled his office with blonde bombshells. Charlie Wilson eat your heart out. First up we have 23 year old Holly Farrow:

And finally 22 year old Anita Vukomanovic:

And so over to the lads...

Sticking in Rozza's office we have 22 year old Starbuck Coleman, this gin loving ladies man sets many a blue blooded heart racing. Just don't call him Stephen:

Next up it's 31 year old Jamie Davenport. Some might find it slightly ironic that Michael Howard would have a repetitive beat loving house DJ as his researcher but by all accounts the big fella has mellowed over the years:

Finally, and for the sake of political balance we have Alex Kendell, 22, PR to the soon-to-be-ex-Liberal Democrat MP for Cheltenham, Martin Horwood:

So vote away and email it around. Come back in a week for the results...

Hamilton '97, Smith '10?

This post

by Rouse Media got TB thinking. It was humiliating when Neil Hamilton was defeated by the independent anti-sleaze candidate Martin Bell in 1997. This could/would never have happened though, if Labour and the Lib-Dems hadn't decided not to contest the seat. While of course the likes of Hamilton got everything they deserved, New Labour have turned sleaze into a corporate entity. No longer is it sweaty, crumpled, twenties in brown envelopes, it's a full scale scam worth hundreds of thousands of pounds. Since Jury Team the "organised independents" are so keen on sticking it to Jacqui Smith, maybe the Tories should move aside in Redditch and atone for 1997.

Ladbrokes have

apparently

slashed their odds on an independent taking Smith's seat.

If you think MPs are badly behaved then you ain't seen nothing yet. The real gossip and scandal in the corridors of power comes from all those hundreds of bag carriers, speech writers and researchers. But who will be the King and Queen of Portcullis House? Many an MP has started out as the lowly Parliamentary Researcher... Which of this lot have the looks to send them to the very top?

In a new weekly feature, every Friday, TB will be conducting polls to find the sexiest female and male researchers. Some suggestions were already heavily discussed over one too many bottles of wine in the Carlton last night, but in preparation for the first round of polling submit your nominations now...

Email suggestions, pics and details to

editor@torybear.com

and when you're not busy making coffee, or redrafting that press release, spend the week deciding which of your colleagues are hot, and which are not...

May the battle commence.

Talking of Twitter...

Sorry for the light blogging.. TB is planning and putting together the first stage of a big project and also getting ready to launch his new Friday fun feature, that will happen tomorrow this week, as this Friday isn't good. But anyway TB's Twitter followers number is creeping up:

There is a free Dan Han T-shirt (see below) up for grabs for TB's 500th follower...

get adding

!

The day Twitter got shitter.

TB was one of the first people on Facebook in this country. Back in 2005 it was only people who were at proper universities who could get accounts. Then they let Newcastle join and it all went down hill. Soon it was expanded to schools and then any one and so on. He only really uses Twitter to push stories and bait the lefties that seem to have flocked to it, but even so, there was something of that community feel about it that FB used to have back in the good old days.

Well the

end is nigh

for Twitter.

Never too big to apologise...

TB's faith in the police has taken a sore hit today. While there is an ongoing investigation into what exactly happened at the G20 protest it appears that TB was a little too quick to defend the Met. He did however believe that the statement they put out would be accurate and clung to the notion of innocent until proven guilty. This whole little spat began with people jumping to conclusions and spreading rumour before any facts had been confirmed, and while this time it may have turned out to be accurate, that isn't an excuse to attempt to stir these things up. To those who feel that TB is guilty of this too then he apologises.

Until the IPPC report back let's leave it at that.

Jog on...

TB has noted before that Tom Harris MP clearly doesn't feel comfortable throwing mud at the tories and should stick to the analysis and well thought out policy based attacks. So it was nice to get back to agreeing with at least 75% of

what he said today

. The Sun

is reporting

that the ridiculous Crewe and Nantwich style "tory-toff" attacks are set to be rolled out nationwide. Good, bring it on, because it was clearly so successful last time they tried it! Here is the proof that New Labour have conceded that centre-right thinking is where this nation is now firmly based and they have no way to attack what the modern Conservative Party stands for.

Labour mouthpieces like

Tom Miller

tried this attack on TB last week. Having never met TB, spoken to him or any member of his family, Miller thought he had a golden ticket with a

certain picture he found of TB from a debating society website

. Rather than defending his warped and deluded views that TB had called him out on, he instead chose to give prominence to a photograph as if that was a rebuttal, as if that weakened anything TB had to say. Well hate to break it to Tom and Labour, these sort of rubbish attacks just make you look pathetic. The British general public aren't stupid and have seen through this low mud slinging before and they will do so again.

Make your posters, throw your mud and we'll see who's laughing as the sun rises after election night.

UPDATE 14.33: Tom Miller is now claiming putting that picture up of TB was a joke, funny he didn't say that

at the time

. Everything is seemingly a joke to Mr Miller, no wonder he gets on so well with Dolly.

Life imitates art...

TB watched

Forgetting Sarah Marshall

again last night and can't believe this point about Russell Brand didn't come to him sooner. Every one's favourite "sex-addict"

turned up

at the G20 protests to campaign to replace "capitalism with something nicer" last week and it seems that Russell has been taken his characters too seriously. In said film Brand must have worked extremely hard to play a stupid celebrity who sleeps around and makes inappropriate comments. He also has a song called "We gotta do something":



For those of you at work, check out the lyrics:

We gotta do something,
We gotta do something,
Before mother earth gets anymore hurt,
We gotta do something!

You know I`m sorry if this is hard for you to take,
But a lot of it just needs saying,
and I don`t see anyone else out there,
giving out this message,
and if I don`t do this, Who`s gonna do it?
And maybe, if someone hears these words,
maybe the whole world gets round and listens,
to what I`m sayin`, and maybe we have a chance.
Because I don`t wanna see another child crying,
I don`t wanna see another dog dying in the streets,
I can`t see another homeless man, because it doesn`t seem right to me,
He`s got a home, and he`s not got a home,
What`s the point in that?
Why can`t we all just get together, in one big home,
and if I was in Government,
Then I`d Government things much more differentlier,
because it ain`t the best way to government things,
So there`s poor people everywhere,
You know I would just be sittin` alone,
Thinkin` "How can I do something?",
`Cos I ain`t gonna be in chains no-more,
You lot might have been conned, but I ain`t been conned,
`Cos I`m a free man, I`m free, and I`m gonna let my soul soar,
and the way I do that is through my music,
so why don`t you do something?

The Left have finally found their voice! Finally they have some to rally behind, a leader to unite them. Russell Brand should be put in charge of dealing with the global economic downturn. If only we had listened to him earlier!

With solutions to the recession like that, Brand must have fitted right in at last week's protests!

Arrrrgh.

Riot police are on standby in SW1.

TB on FB

TB was rather distressed to have his Facebook profile deleted after some apparent breach of regulations. He has now finally got round to creating a page for fans of torybear.com to get news and updates and write witty and amusing one liners etc.

Become a fan of the bear

here

. Why not invite a friend?

More red faces for Labour

Oh dear. It seems Jacqui let her husband loose on the work computers too. The Home Office website was linking to Japanese porn sites apparently:

What's next? MPs photographing themselves banging interns in their offices?

Oh wait

.

NUS shifts to the right?

Whenever TB mentions the NUS it always starts the age old argument of how involved should Conservative and conservative students be? The current CF administration have made their thoughts perfectly clear, but that didn't stop some rogue hacks throwing themselves in the deep end. Though he didn't get elected to the NUS,

Benjamin Gray

offers some interesting insights to this years conference, away from the bar, and blows the whistle about what has become increasingly obvious in the last few months- Labour know the election is almost a forgone conclusion and now the NUS is terrified that under a tory government they are going to be frozen out and sent into the wilderness. Rejoice!! some will cry but do we really want them to shift to the hard left?

You can read all of Ben's thoughts

here

, but these bits are key:

The response of delegates who knew I was Conservative Future-affiliated was not hostility, but curiosity, and in some cases outright support. In private many believe that the Conservatives are going to form the next government, and want to know what we would offer them. They also want CF involved so that they can have a means of making their case directly to the party. As I’ve said elsewhere, there are a lot of independents who go to NUS conferences, and are more than willing to support and listen to Tory candidates. A fair number of them will go on to get actively involved in politics. It’s worth being there to show them that Labour Students do not hold a monopoly on worthwhile political activism. Additionally, it gives our activists a way of contributing and gaining experience beyond what the regular CF branch can offer.

Of particular interest is how the Trots are waning in influence. Although this was doubtless helped by many of their membership wanting to go off and smash up a bank window or two during the week, their presence was minuscule. Their candidates got trounced in every election bar one. Both their members of the National Executive Committee were censured for their stage antics at Wolverhampton. Their proposals were defeated by overwhelming margins. So weak were they this year that I was able to stand in the middle of their bloc on conference floor and stir things up without being in much danger. The NUS has moved to the right, and it’s time the Right moved towards the NUS.

Whether or not you agree with the last sentence it is interesting to note the waning trot influence and the fact that Labour Students are privately flapping about the change in government.

If the NUS would like to butter up this tory hack and get him to start writing nice things about them,

this

would be a good place to start.

Drinkies...

TB has been lurking in the deepest darkest countryside for ten days now. It's been too long since he has seen many a CF hack so will be propping up the bar at the Cities of London and Westminster

monthly knees

up

at the Star Bar in St James's tomorow evening.

Any one else going?

Oh Darling...

It seems that each week those beavering sunday paper hacks manage to create a mild shitstorm for a member of the Cabinet or Labour frontbench about their expenses. This weekend was no different with Hoon getting his comeuppance but there is something about the revelations about Alistair Darling's ridiculous claims that struck TB as a little odd.

Monday morning papers are never particularly great, the B-team are often in charge over the weekend with the editor finally getting stuck in as the deadlines approach. Funny then that

The Times

and

Telegraph

got such wonderful scoops today with their attacks on Darling. A bit of a coincidence is it not that both the papers got the identical story? Has someone been on the phone...

Darling has been a bit of a naughty boy recently in terms of loyalty to the glorious leader. He has been outspoken and willing to stand up to Brown. It has been widely speculated that he might be for the chop. Most people generally ignore the neighbours they don't get on with. Maybe the odd call to the council after a late night party or pesky tree dispute, but it seems Brown has a far superior method to getting rid of people he doesn't like...

Why not make everyone else hate them too by destroying their reputation in the public eye.

Do as I say not as I do...

The National Union of Students don't half come out with some crackpot ideas, but this minimum pricing on drinks

nonsense

really takes the biscuit. Wes "yes we can" Streeting, the re-elected Labour President said “Students’ unions work hard to inform their members of the dangers of excessive drinking. But more can be done. ‘All you can drink’ and ‘three for the price of one’ offers encourage students to drink to dangerous levels.” Won't those nannying bosses at the Labour Party be pleased with their golden child!

Newbie blogger

Oberon Houston

has beaten the bear to it with taking the piss, but frankly, while students will no doubt reject these ideas, this whole thing is also some what hypocritical. These ridiculous measures against this so called "binge drinking" are clearly just a litmus test for what will no doubt turn into some botched and rushed government policy and makes the NUS look like a bunch of idiots. They have just had their annual conference in Blackpool and this year it was seemingly a bit of a Twitter fest. Check out minute by minute coverage of the whole three day circle jerk

here

. Posts like these got TB thinking:

So by day motions attempting to curb drinking on campus were passed, by night the pictures that TB has

nicked from here

tell a very different story:

This lot will go far in the Labour Party or the general lefty world with this "do as I say" attitude. Now TB isn't having a go at them for getting drunk and having a good time, hell alcohol would be the only way to get through a three day NUS conference.

It's just the hypocrisy he can't stand.

Sorry about the lack of blogging today. Sister Bear and TB had a long overdue catch up last night involving large amounts of Spotify and a bottle of vodka. Needless to say, TB has quite literally been a bear with a sore head all day... but nothing some roast beef and couple of glasses of wine didn't fix.

• Always good for terrifying stories -The Independent reports on President Blair.

• Matthew D'Ancona asks Gordon who he thinks he is kidding in his Telegraph column.
  ..
  As does Fraser Nelson for the NOTW - the G20 unravelled
  .

• The Telegraph asks Michelle just what exactly she thought she was doing.

• AA Gill takes the piss as only AA Gill can in The Times.

• Jenni Russel argues that karma is in play for Jackoff Smith also in The Times.

Update: IMF and Brown

TB's sources are reporting that the IMF are playing hard to get and making Brown beg for his

loan

. Here is a another leaked update from the negotiations:



TB would have thought Gordon would throw his Nokia harder than that.

Hilarity ensues...

After the chaos of their elections, the new Liberal Youth executive has come together today for the first time. In keeping with the tradition, the Chairman Elaine Bagshaw has had another resignation. Ben Mathis, who was re-elected just a week ago as the Vice-Chairman for Campaigns, has already jumped the sinking ship. This is surely a new record for Bagshaw forcing out someone who opposed her point of view or questioned her.

Liberal Youth's freshers week campaign is obviously going to be as successful as last year's seeing as with just a few months to go they have found themselves without someone to co-ordinate it.

TB's sources are muttering that Edwin Loo, the ever so successful London Campaign honcho, has already started putting the word around that he is ready to step up to the plate. He has proven his worth and this would be a real threat to Conservative Future's national campaigning.

Honest.

+++developing+++

The twittering classes speak out:

Once there was the student union chattering classes, they have now become the twitterers. Either way there is absoulutly no support from these EUSA hacks from banning the Daily Mail. TB asked them all if they support the farcical attempts to restrict what students read:

There we have a current sabbatical, a former editor of the student press, a former President, the President and Vice-President elect, and a range of elected EUSA officials.

Was anyone consulted on this move before that press release was sent out?