+++McBride quits+++

Now confirmed.

Red Flag to a Bear...

TB has finally got some sleep and re-emerged to see his little Dolly tribute all over the place. Thank you very much to everyone who has posted it and for your kind words - a well spent all nighter! It's not looking good for Labour, both Guido and Iain Dale have hit the airwaves, giving articulate and damning assessments of just how bleak this situation is for No10. The line that Brown didn't know about this strategy is frankly not good enough. Either he's a barefaced liar, like Draper, or he's totally and utterly incompetent, like Draper. Neither are desirable characteristics for a Prime Minister. The idea that these smears were just a bit of gossip and banter between friends has also been blown out of the water by

Dizzy

and

Isaby

who have exposed the fact that the

RedRag

blog was set up and ready to go.

So roll on midnight and the first glimpse at the NOTW....LabourHome have already done

the right thing

, but Dolly has

denied

his master once. Will he do so two more times before the cock crows tomorrow?

Oh to be a fly on the wall in Downing St right now.

Hat-Tip -

LabourHome

&

GOT

for the images.

LabourLost:

A weekend is a long time in politics:

The Bard Bear...

TB is very proud of Sister Bear the journo and poet, who features in

today's Times

:

Tory Bear's favourite poem is on his special mug out of which he drinks his morning tea...

Isn't it funny how a bear likes honey.
Buzz, buzz, buzz I wonder why he does?

McBrideisnailedtoa-gate

Guido

has stated

that the Downing St

spin operation

concerning snide McBride has already lied over the fact that other people in No10 and the government were involved in this fascinating saga. What has become clear over night, mainly due to a planted story for

damage limitation

in the Telegraph, and some

interesting chat

on PB is that there is some pretty toxic lies about Cameron and Osborne, and their families, in these email chains between Draper, McBride and... who else? The line that this is a mere bloggers tiff isn't going to wash. This is going to be big.

Who else could be making a hasty get-away?

Certain ministers

known for their usual loudness are very, very quiet aren't they... Any mention of Dolly has already been taken off LabourList and McBride is no doubt holding an icepack to a very sore Nokia induced bump on his noggin...

Pull up a pew, crack open the Peronis... it's going to be a great weekend.

Hello Goodbye Dolly

Bang.

Bang.

Bang.

Taxi for McBride and Dolly.

This is only just beginning...

Crate of champagne to

this fella

...

Shameless self-promotion...

TB got a rather nice email from a student at LSE today suggesting that he enters this blog to the

NUS Media Awards

. He hasn't got a hope in hell of winning but after taking some soundings from his advisers, as well as chatting to his family and his association, Tory Bear can now confirm he allow his name to go forward for the first round ballot.

Could any students out there who enjoy a bit of gonzo NOTW sensationalism and political gossip please send some nice words about Tory Bear that he can put on his nomination form. Also any suggestions for your favourite stories would be great.

Thank you - usual address.

Ever wondered about the whole Easter Bunny/egg thing?

Well now we know:

Happy Easter!

Wife-beating, nationalist, tax dodger to be honoured

That has to be TB's best NOTW headline yet, but it's all true. Sticking with Edinburgh University, it seems that Sean Connery, the

nationalist supporting

,

tax dodging

,

wife beating

actor is to be awarded and honorary degree.

The University has a track record of getting these things spectacularly wrong, and it was only after

serious pressure

was applied by the students, that stripping ol' Bob Mugabe of his degree was even considered. It's not really turned out to be a good day for the University's press officers now has it. Despite his politics and the fact the he doesn't even pay tax in Scotland, this video alone should be enough to rule him out of contention:



It seems the

whole honours list

has turned out to be a bit of a nationalist love-in with

Annie Lennox

and

Sir Tom Hunter

also being awarded degrees.

So it's clearly simple logic - donate to the SNP and Edinburgh University gives you a degree.

Hat-tip -

@joshmacalister

University dumbing down?

As a soon to be graduate of Edinburgh University, TB is often quick to defend it when people, such as the normally wonderful Margaret Mountford,

slag it off

and suggest that it is no longer the fine institution it once was. When you see them put out press releases like

this,

however, you have to concur that the university that brought Dolly the sheep to the world can probably do a bit better than "Rabbit Week":

The birthplace of the Scottish Enlightenment that educated four of the Founding Fathers, will be banning free speech next. Oh wait.

That damn bear!

TB will be upping his security at TBHQ after a leftish plot to see him given the orginal Guy Fawkes treatement has been revealed:

Read all about it

here

!

Totty Watch:

In just a couple of hours of the contest being called, there were already enough nominations for TB to run the competition for three weeks. Clearly with recess being called the bag-carriers don't have much to do! So here we go with round one.. ding ding.

So for the ladies we have cute Jenny Dorries, the 20 year old daughter of Nadine Dorries the MP for Mid-Bedfordshire, treat this young lady well or you'll have her mother to answer to. Never a good thing as many a man will testify:

TB would at this point like to salute Romford's finest Andrew Rosindell MP. It seems that old Rozza has filled his office with blonde bombshells. Charlie Wilson eat your heart out. First up we have 23 year old Holly Farrow:

And finally 22 year old Anita Vukomanovic:

And so over to the lads...

Sticking in Rozza's office we have 22 year old Starbuck Coleman, this gin loving ladies man sets many a blue blooded heart racing. Just don't call him Stephen:

Next up it's 31 year old Jamie Davenport. Some might find it slightly ironic that Michael Howard would have a repetitive beat loving house DJ as his researcher but by all accounts the big fella has mellowed over the years:

Finally, and for the sake of political balance we have Alex Kendell, 22, PR to the soon-to-be-ex-Liberal Democrat MP for Cheltenham, Martin Horwood:

So vote away and email it around. Come back in a week for the results...

Hamilton '97, Smith '10?

This post

by Rouse Media got TB thinking. It was humiliating when Neil Hamilton was defeated by the independent anti-sleaze candidate Martin Bell in 1997. This could/would never have happened though, if Labour and the Lib-Dems hadn't decided not to contest the seat. While of course the likes of Hamilton got everything they deserved, New Labour have turned sleaze into a corporate entity. No longer is it sweaty, crumpled, twenties in brown envelopes, it's a full scale scam worth hundreds of thousands of pounds. Since Jury Team the "organised independents" are so keen on sticking it to Jacqui Smith, maybe the Tories should move aside in Redditch and atone for 1997.

Ladbrokes have

apparently

slashed their odds on an independent taking Smith's seat.

If you think MPs are badly behaved then you ain't seen nothing yet. The real gossip and scandal in the corridors of power comes from all those hundreds of bag carriers, speech writers and researchers. But who will be the King and Queen of Portcullis House? Many an MP has started out as the lowly Parliamentary Researcher... Which of this lot have the looks to send them to the very top?

In a new weekly feature, every Friday, TB will be conducting polls to find the sexiest female and male researchers. Some suggestions were already heavily discussed over one too many bottles of wine in the Carlton last night, but in preparation for the first round of polling submit your nominations now...

Email suggestions, pics and details to

editor@torybear.com

and when you're not busy making coffee, or redrafting that press release, spend the week deciding which of your colleagues are hot, and which are not...

May the battle commence.

Talking of Twitter...

Sorry for the light blogging.. TB is planning and putting together the first stage of a big project and also getting ready to launch his new Friday fun feature, that will happen tomorrow this week, as this Friday isn't good. But anyway TB's Twitter followers number is creeping up:

There is a free Dan Han T-shirt (see below) up for grabs for TB's 500th follower...

get adding

!

The day Twitter got shitter.

TB was one of the first people on Facebook in this country. Back in 2005 it was only people who were at proper universities who could get accounts. Then they let Newcastle join and it all went down hill. Soon it was expanded to schools and then any one and so on. He only really uses Twitter to push stories and bait the lefties that seem to have flocked to it, but even so, there was something of that community feel about it that FB used to have back in the good old days.

Well the

end is nigh

for Twitter.

Never too big to apologise...

TB's faith in the police has taken a sore hit today. While there is an ongoing investigation into what exactly happened at the G20 protest it appears that TB was a little too quick to defend the Met. He did however believe that the statement they put out would be accurate and clung to the notion of innocent until proven guilty. This whole little spat began with people jumping to conclusions and spreading rumour before any facts had been confirmed, and while this time it may have turned out to be accurate, that isn't an excuse to attempt to stir these things up. To those who feel that TB is guilty of this too then he apologises.

Until the IPPC report back let's leave it at that.

Jog on...

TB has noted before that Tom Harris MP clearly doesn't feel comfortable throwing mud at the tories and should stick to the analysis and well thought out policy based attacks. So it was nice to get back to agreeing with at least 75% of

what he said today

. The Sun

is reporting

that the ridiculous Crewe and Nantwich style "tory-toff" attacks are set to be rolled out nationwide. Good, bring it on, because it was clearly so successful last time they tried it! Here is the proof that New Labour have conceded that centre-right thinking is where this nation is now firmly based and they have no way to attack what the modern Conservative Party stands for.

Labour mouthpieces like

Tom Miller

tried this attack on TB last week. Having never met TB, spoken to him or any member of his family, Miller thought he had a golden ticket with a

certain picture he found of TB from a debating society website

. Rather than defending his warped and deluded views that TB had called him out on, he instead chose to give prominence to a photograph as if that was a rebuttal, as if that weakened anything TB had to say. Well hate to break it to Tom and Labour, these sort of rubbish attacks just make you look pathetic. The British general public aren't stupid and have seen through this low mud slinging before and they will do so again.

Make your posters, throw your mud and we'll see who's laughing as the sun rises after election night.

UPDATE 14.33: Tom Miller is now claiming putting that picture up of TB was a joke, funny he didn't say that

at the time

. Everything is seemingly a joke to Mr Miller, no wonder he gets on so well with Dolly.

Life imitates art...

TB watched

Forgetting Sarah Marshall

again last night and can't believe this point about Russell Brand didn't come to him sooner. Every one's favourite "sex-addict"

turned up

at the G20 protests to campaign to replace "capitalism with something nicer" last week and it seems that Russell has been taken his characters too seriously. In said film Brand must have worked extremely hard to play a stupid celebrity who sleeps around and makes inappropriate comments. He also has a song called "We gotta do something":



For those of you at work, check out the lyrics:

We gotta do something,
We gotta do something,
Before mother earth gets anymore hurt,
We gotta do something!

You know I`m sorry if this is hard for you to take,
But a lot of it just needs saying,
and I don`t see anyone else out there,
giving out this message,
and if I don`t do this, Who`s gonna do it?
And maybe, if someone hears these words,
maybe the whole world gets round and listens,
to what I`m sayin`, and maybe we have a chance.
Because I don`t wanna see another child crying,
I don`t wanna see another dog dying in the streets,
I can`t see another homeless man, because it doesn`t seem right to me,
He`s got a home, and he`s not got a home,
What`s the point in that?
Why can`t we all just get together, in one big home,
and if I was in Government,
Then I`d Government things much more differentlier,
because it ain`t the best way to government things,
So there`s poor people everywhere,
You know I would just be sittin` alone,
Thinkin` "How can I do something?",
`Cos I ain`t gonna be in chains no-more,
You lot might have been conned, but I ain`t been conned,
`Cos I`m a free man, I`m free, and I`m gonna let my soul soar,
and the way I do that is through my music,
so why don`t you do something?

The Left have finally found their voice! Finally they have some to rally behind, a leader to unite them. Russell Brand should be put in charge of dealing with the global economic downturn. If only we had listened to him earlier!

With solutions to the recession like that, Brand must have fitted right in at last week's protests!

Arrrrgh.

Riot police are on standby in SW1.

TB on FB

TB was rather distressed to have his Facebook profile deleted after some apparent breach of regulations. He has now finally got round to creating a page for fans of torybear.com to get news and updates and write witty and amusing one liners etc.

Become a fan of the bear

here

. Why not invite a friend?

More red faces for Labour

Oh dear. It seems Jacqui let her husband loose on the work computers too. The Home Office website was linking to Japanese porn sites apparently:

What's next? MPs photographing themselves banging interns in their offices?

Oh wait

.

NUS shifts to the right?

Whenever TB mentions the NUS it always starts the age old argument of how involved should Conservative and conservative students be? The current CF administration have made their thoughts perfectly clear, but that didn't stop some rogue hacks throwing themselves in the deep end. Though he didn't get elected to the NUS,

Benjamin Gray

offers some interesting insights to this years conference, away from the bar, and blows the whistle about what has become increasingly obvious in the last few months- Labour know the election is almost a forgone conclusion and now the NUS is terrified that under a tory government they are going to be frozen out and sent into the wilderness. Rejoice!! some will cry but do we really want them to shift to the hard left?

You can read all of Ben's thoughts

here

, but these bits are key:

The response of delegates who knew I was Conservative Future-affiliated was not hostility, but curiosity, and in some cases outright support. In private many believe that the Conservatives are going to form the next government, and want to know what we would offer them. They also want CF involved so that they can have a means of making their case directly to the party. As I’ve said elsewhere, there are a lot of independents who go to NUS conferences, and are more than willing to support and listen to Tory candidates. A fair number of them will go on to get actively involved in politics. It’s worth being there to show them that Labour Students do not hold a monopoly on worthwhile political activism. Additionally, it gives our activists a way of contributing and gaining experience beyond what the regular CF branch can offer.

Of particular interest is how the Trots are waning in influence. Although this was doubtless helped by many of their membership wanting to go off and smash up a bank window or two during the week, their presence was minuscule. Their candidates got trounced in every election bar one. Both their members of the National Executive Committee were censured for their stage antics at Wolverhampton. Their proposals were defeated by overwhelming margins. So weak were they this year that I was able to stand in the middle of their bloc on conference floor and stir things up without being in much danger. The NUS has moved to the right, and it’s time the Right moved towards the NUS.

Whether or not you agree with the last sentence it is interesting to note the waning trot influence and the fact that Labour Students are privately flapping about the change in government.

If the NUS would like to butter up this tory hack and get him to start writing nice things about them,

this

would be a good place to start.

Drinkies...

TB has been lurking in the deepest darkest countryside for ten days now. It's been too long since he has seen many a CF hack so will be propping up the bar at the Cities of London and Westminster

monthly knees

up

at the Star Bar in St James's tomorow evening.

Any one else going?

Oh Darling...

It seems that each week those beavering sunday paper hacks manage to create a mild shitstorm for a member of the Cabinet or Labour frontbench about their expenses. This weekend was no different with Hoon getting his comeuppance but there is something about the revelations about Alistair Darling's ridiculous claims that struck TB as a little odd.

Monday morning papers are never particularly great, the B-team are often in charge over the weekend with the editor finally getting stuck in as the deadlines approach. Funny then that

The Times

and

Telegraph

got such wonderful scoops today with their attacks on Darling. A bit of a coincidence is it not that both the papers got the identical story? Has someone been on the phone...

Darling has been a bit of a naughty boy recently in terms of loyalty to the glorious leader. He has been outspoken and willing to stand up to Brown. It has been widely speculated that he might be for the chop. Most people generally ignore the neighbours they don't get on with. Maybe the odd call to the council after a late night party or pesky tree dispute, but it seems Brown has a far superior method to getting rid of people he doesn't like...

Why not make everyone else hate them too by destroying their reputation in the public eye.