Loose Lips Sink Ships

Everyone's favourite Chief Whip Nick Brown is currently on a train into Kings Cross. A travelling source gets in touch to inform the Bear:

"Although he thinks he's being guarded on the mobile - I know what he is talking about. The essence is that the plot rumours are real and he is holding meetings tomorrow to discuss things.

Greg Pope

was mentioned and the feelings within the PLP and 'worries', two camps, theose who will 'soldier on and those who want him out"

After today's performance on Marr is there any Labour MP who can honestly say Gordon is the best they have?

Bloopers

Just in case you missed this over at Guido's, TB thought he would share the

Guy News

outtakes with y'll:



They don't call him two-takes-Tory Bear for nothing...

Who's the Brief?

The festive cheer is quick to wear off when you are constantly watching your back. It seems someone in CCHQ is a little scared about losing their job come May and is causing mischief. Steve Hilton, despite being chief soothsayer in Team Dave rarely gets a bad splash. It is often said that the less clothes you wear in CCHQ the more powerful you are. A good working example would be that James O’Shaughnessy, policy wonk, can sometimes get away without wearing a tie, while nobody would bat an eyelid if Steve Hilton strutted around in a pair of Speedos. Hence why it is strange that there would be such a bunfight across the pages of the

Times

about him needing to shore up against a suspected junior usurper.

For better or worse Hilton has Dave's ear more than even Coulson. TB would argue that perhaps this one-time green-voter may now have outlived his maximum usefulness. Having been so successful in enabling the party to get to the stage it is at now, perhaps someone else with a little more teeth needs to be allowed to do heavy work. The Obama style vacant nonsense might have sounded good in California but it seems some of the detail got lost via Skype.

The Tories have dominated the media coverage for the entire of 2010 so far, and this small blot is an unwelcome distraction, though it has to be said the briefing is about as subtle as Mandelson would conjures up. This sort of thing needs to be nipped in the bud right now. One of Labour's biggest weaknesses is the fact that they have been acting like ferrets in a sack for as long as anyone can remember. First they wanted to to get rid of Blair and then Brown. While this may be fascinating for avid viewers, it is extremely off putting to the wider public. The Tories need to be seen to be rising above petty internal squabbles and focus on bombarding Labour and the public with idea after idea, policy after policy.

Let the elbow barging wait until the prospect of forming a government is actually in the bag chaps.

Two Days To Go

Monday may be back to work but don't forget to check out

kerryout.net

to find out how you can get involved with the campaign from the streets of Bristol to the comfort of your own home, from the keyboard to the wallet.

Better look up those train timetables...

Things Can Only Get Bitter

TB is back and raring to go. The next few months are going to be full on and full of surprises. TB hopes you all had a wonderful Christmas, have manged to get over yesterday's hangover and are a ready for the fun and games starting on Monday. Not only is it the official launch of the

#KerryOut

website but also, and perhaps more importantly, the first look at the Conservative manifesto. Labour are backed into a corner, the finishing line is in sight and TB is looking forward to causing as much havoc as he possibly can. He fully expects the reds to get very nasty.

Things can only get bitter...

Video -

GOT

Quote of the Year

First published 9th October 2009:

"I did not have sex with Derek Draper."

-James Macintyre, New Statesman Political Correspondent

Happy New Year folks. TB understands

Political Scrapbook

has a pretty good quote of the year too.

Archive - Dizzee Rascal for PM

First published 9th November 2008:

If you thought the weekend was nearly over then think again - turn the volume up and get the music pumping...



Incase you missed his stunning Newsnight debute, check out Tory Bear's mash up of Dizzee Rascal explaining why Obama won because of hip-hop and why he might very well run for office..

Remember where you saw the Dizzee4PM campaign first kids!

Archive - Unto the world a child is born...

First published 6th November 2008:

Nice to see Guardian writer Jemima Kiss isn't too excited about the Obama victory on Twitter...

Archive - Ed Miliband Owned by Paxman

First published 29th September 2009:

The wunderkid Ed Miliband just got a vintage Paxman creaming

on Newsnight

. Imagine Blinky Balls crossed with the guy out of the South Park film. He kept saying "If you'd just let me finish, if you'd just let me finish.. errr let's not turn this into one of those interviews, can I finish?"

Eventually Paxman lost it and in exasperation said "yes yes I'm trying to let you finish, I want you to finish."

Popcorn worthy.

UPDATE 00.01: As

Alex Massie

pointed out to TB, the similarities to this are uncanny:



"This is like watching Bambi's mother be punched by John Leslie..."

Archive - Now Then Us Them

Archive - Exclusive "This isn't about George, or you, it's about the Labour Party"

TB had great fun covering the Rector election in his last term at Edinburgh. If anything just to be able to stick it to Labour and Lord George Foulkes on his patch every day. This one story gives the best background and most damaging intervention by the Scottish Labour party into what was essentially a student race. First published 30th January 2009:

Tory Bear has said it before and will say it again - the Labour Party from the very top, to the grassroots is in a pretty desperate state of affairs. Now you may have noticed that TB has been focusing somewhat on the Rectorial election at Edinburgh in the last few weeks and though some have suggested this isn't exactly high profile news, one campaign in particular has flagged up some fascinating insight into the inner workings of the Scottish Labour Party. Party elder Lord Foulkes has had a colourful career and is now looking to settle into a cosy retirement as a member of the Edinburgh establishment. However things aren't going exactly to plan.

Despite being the first candidate to declare, his campaign has got off to a rocky start and has only began clawing back, in terms of impact, in the last couple of days. The campaign team is dominated by members, past and present, of Labour Students but it seems that not all of them have been fully on board from the beginning. TB's sources tell him that it has taken some serious heavy handed techniques from the highest echelons of the party to whip Foulkes's team into shape. It has come to Tory Bear's attention from sources close to the top of the Foulkes campaign that a particular member of the Labour Students was taken aside in the Scottish Parliament and threatened not only by Foulkes but by Iain Gray, the chaotic leader of the Labour Party in Scotland.

TB understands that the individual in question, though a very active member of Labour Students was not happy to support Foulkes as he did not agree with his voting record or outlook on key issues. However Mr Gray can be quiet persuasive it seems: "It'd be a shame if you're career ended here" he apparently said, adding "George is very important in Scotland, and he has a long memory..." The individual in question, for the sake of their career, has now bitten the bullet and is signed up to the campaign under sufferance. No doubt "This isn't about George, or you, it's about the Labour Party" can be a forceful message when whispered in your ear by the Leader of the Party.

As one would expect Gray's not so charming gate keeper denied the story as "nonsense" but there was a slightly more chaotic and nervous reaction from Foulkes's office when TB put this story to them earlier today. (This is what happens when you employ students to run your office, as is seemingly the case with Foulkes's continued employment of Matt McPherson, his campaign manager. If that isn't the case then TB wonders what Mr McPherson is doing answering the phones in an MSPs office.) However both Gray's office and Foulke's henchmen refused go as far as to call TB's source a liar. McPherson stated "I can categorically assure you that no one from within George's Rectorial campaign team has ever issued a threat to anyone." but gave no comment on whether anyone above the level of student team, someone such as Mr Gray had been involved...

Foulkes expected to walk this election for Rector and now that things are not going his way he is calling in favours from his high powered colleagues. The quotes may be dismissed because they are anonymous but Tory Bear is protecting someone who, having been threatened before, isn't too keen on rocking the boat too much. TB is however willing to vouch for the authenticity of the source and has spent the last 24 hours checking out the story. For the leader of the Scottish Labour Party to be putting a bit of stick about, to be bullying members half his age and twice his integrity shows once again just how stale and tired and nasty the Labour Party has become.

Archive - Anagram of the week

First published 31st March 2009:

Just spotted this

little gem

from Mr Hannan:

I AM GORDON BROWN = MAD ON BORROWING

Archive - WE♥BAGHDAD

This one from waaay back got TB in so much trouble at the time. First published 28th July 2008:

Word reaches Tory Bear of a very exciting new Conservative Future Social Action project!

Social Action Officer Arabella Bonaparte got in touch to say...

"Just wanted to tell you about a social action project we are currently involved with - WE LOVE BAGHDAD”. The party are helping local residents in their community make a difference by listening, seeing and learning. In the past, social action projects have taken the form of a 4 day volunteer scheme during conference dates. But not this year. This year, we are approaching the project from a whole new angle. It has to be about teamwork, cooperation and most importantly the community.

The task is simple: to transform the city using a bottom up approach through working with the local community, local charities and local entrepreneurs. Baghdad h

as been devastated by the war but everything is going to be ok now that CF are pretending to care. We will be painting fences and planting flowers etc! It’s social changes as well and will go under the skin to find the roots of the problems and potentially find solutions. It's for projects like this that I think I first got involved with Social Action for. There's a great something that can be said about going in to communities and working with them. It's more than just words on leaflets. It's something more - you meet people, you make a difference and you go away feeling you have made life better even just for one person. And this is where you guys come in… we need to build up city destroyed by devastating conflict.

And so I am asking you…

Are you free in August?
Do you want to be a part of this first stage in WE LOVE BAGHDAD?
Can you travel to Baghdad?
Are you fully trained in urban combat?
Do you want to do your bit for Social Action?

If yes, come be a part of the already existing team working hard to bring positive changes in Iraq. It will be hard work, you will potentially get covered in dirt , you might even die, but it will be fun, you will meet lovely people and we will put on some lunches as a thank you for your trouble.”

TB understands that all those who travel to Baghdad will receive champagne at Conference.

Archive - Sadiq Khan - Epic Fail

First published Wednesday 27th May 2009:

Looks like the Communities Minister should pay more attention when staging photo ops.

Merry Christmas

Archive - LabourLost - The Derek Draper Story

First published 11th April 2009:

A weekend is a long time in politics:

Archive - Woops.

The mystery never was solved as the account disappeared but TB did enjoy this one first published 20th May 2009:

Someone should really sit Labour Chief Whip

Nick Brown

down and explain to him just what all this twitter malarkey is all about. It seems Gordon's enforcer might have made a bit of a first-day-on-twitter-error:

So lets just get this straight. The Chief Whip is using to

Twitter to tell

other Labour MPs when the election is going to be.

Well now we know.

Archive - Don't Call Ed Miliband a Chav

First published 25th September 2009:

It is rare that TB gets a reply from the near daily abuse he can't help but send Ministers of this dying government via the uber-access tool Twitter. Hence the chuckle he afforded himself when he clearly

hit a nerve

with Miliband the Younger:

He's definitely not a chav alright? Got that? Good.

You can follow TB on Twitter

here

.

Exclusive - Labour PPC Abandons Front for Online War

Yes TB knows he is meant to be packing but a nice little scoop to leave on. This has come from a couple of places but people are being very cagey...

They are promising a "shock and awe" rejigging of their online activities in the new year, and tonight TB understands that the not entirely unattractive

Claire Hazelgrove

, 21, the PPC for Skipton and Ripon has been drafted in to jointly organise social media campaigning for the Labour Party. The prolific twitterer is so down with the kids that she even has a

Myspace page

! Other reasons for her employment seem to be she is on twitter and she votes Labour and she isn't as batshit crazy as Kerry.

TB understands that a handful of jobs have been offered and that the new Victoria St employees will be reporting directly to Sue Macmillan, Labour's... wait for it... "New Media Campaigns Taskforce Leader" and supporter of such brilliant campaigns like "

David Camera-on

" a Draper fake twitter account that was err mysteriously silenced, and redesigned. TB is still working on finding out who the other new recruits are.

Three things immediately come to mind about Hazelgrove's appointment. Firstly TB hopes that she has a better grasp of electoral law than she

once had

. She has been in

hot water

for attempting to send money raised in the UK to aid Barack Obama's election campaign, contravening election rules on both sides of the pond. Her flippant attitude at the time did her no favours. TB heard that Claire's involvement with the Obama campaign was a big plus for her getting the job. Though as far as he can tell she had little experience of running anything online and instead spent her time answering phones and

photocopying

in Virgina.

Secondly TB hopes Claire has sorted out her contact book. She was responsible for quite the blunder the other day that sent the labour net-roots into fits of ecstasy when she announced proudly that her sources at ComRes suggested a narrowing of the poll lead to just three points. The poll was announced later that night with a tory lead of 17%. Wounder.

Thirdly what do the voters of Skipton and Ripon feel about their PPC abandoning her campaign to join the party machine? Hazelgrove has been a part time PPC already after leaving university to move to London and her twitter page rarely mentions any reports from the front line.

An early Christmas present for

Julian Smith

then?

Claire Hazelgrove was unavailable for comment.

So Long, Farewell

TB is off the Caribbean until New Year's Eve. He won't be replying to emails, or twitter or unless Brown resigns, his phone. Ever the caring compassionate type he won't be abandoning you completely though. Instead for the next week a dozen or so of the bear's favourite posts, some serious, some very silly, from the last twenty months will be auto-posted.

Enjoy.