Caption Contest #67

Fantastic piece by Jonathan Isaby over at

Three Line Whip

...

TB still doesn't know why they didn't make BackBoris condom holders...

A fairly self indulgent posting...

Whatever happens at the NME meeting tomorrow people have to keep sight of the bigger issues here. If we devoted half the energy and time spent whipping up things up in to frenzy over reforms to campaigning, Conservative Future would be unstoppable.

Yes these reforms may not pass, we'll just have to wait and see but in the mean time lets not lose focus on the ultimate goal. Sticking to Labour where it hurts.

Another busy weekend for TB so blogging will be light. There will be a full round of whatever happens when TB knows and has a minute to jot it all down.

Tickets will be available for TB's party at the Disraeli Club drinks thing tonight. Intensive media training tomorrow and then a 21st somewhere three hours train ride away in the middle of nowhere... three weekends in a row.

TB doesn't want to think about his liver...

Matt Daaaamon

So Matt Damon has laid into Sarah Palin today on the grounds that "she ran a really really small town." He also has a cheap shot at her religious beliefs:



This all begs the question, what the hell has Matt Daaaamon ever done apart from sit on the sofa getting stoned while Ben Affleck wrote a reasonably good script. Well Matt you are your friends at the Film Actors Guild might think you are really funny and really smart but here is how the rest of the world sees you...

1 2 3 4 what the hell are we fighting for...

A simple google will tell you that "During the period 2002/03 to 2004/05, two out of five children in London lived below the poverty threshold after housing costs have been met. This amounts to over 600,000 children. Based on this definition, more than half of the children in Inner London lived in poverty."

And what do the youth wing of the next government do?

"As part of the

National Social Action

day in Richmond, kindly being hosted by the Richmond Borough Conservatives, one of the many projects you can visit on the 20th is the Wildfowl and Wetland Trust in Barnes. On arrival you will be treated to a free guided tour of the centre, including a talk about the work and wildlife within the area, and then taken to an area of marshland where we will be helping to carry out essential conservation work to protect the land and the birds and wildlife which inhabit the area.

So if you fancy meeting some endangered ducks and getting to grips with some conservation work at the Wildfowl and Wetland Trust in Barnes - you know where we are. 20th of September. Richmond. National Conservative Future Social Action Day. For more details and regular updates, please sign up to the facebook event page."

This is a fucking joke right? Zac Goldsmith

disgraced himself

and his party recently and we are spending time and money on birds and bees when there are starving kids we could be drawing attention to.

TB is really pissed. This bollocks has to stop.

Roadtrip...

Mummy and Daddy Bear are driving TB to Birmingham today to look at the party venue and drop off the booze. Thanks to his 3g dongle TB is sitting in the back blogging, Mummy Bear is wondering how her prodigal bear went from cool kid to computer geek in a matter of months...

Reserve your spot with Paypal on the right hand column...

Tickets are going fast so get involved.

Tears, real tears of laughter....

Why does TB get the impression those words did not come from "Keeley"?

Hat-Tip -

Mr Eugenides

MP3 Download

Watch the video:



And you can now download the MP3 of Tory Bear's John McCain remix for your ipod here:

Please do forward the video on... and put your suggestions in the comments for who to remix next!

TB is keen for his first youtube hit.

YCs are back...

TB has been checking out

The Young Conservative

- the lastest CF focused blog to emerge.

Not really got going yet but it aims to;

"give a platform to the next generation of small-c conservative activists across the United Kingdom - regardless of which party, organisation or ideological strand they belong to - from which to promote their cause, explain what they’re doing and encourage others to become involved. We define young arbitrarily as being up to and including 30 years of age."

And who is behind this little movement?

None other than Ed Hallam with the help of Tarasyn Whitehead-Patey.

Thanks for the link in the friends and fellow bloggers guys... oh wait.

Guest Post - Clare Hilley

Why Campaigning is the Lifeblood of CF

By Clare Hilley, Chair, London South Conservative Future

We hold great socials, pub visits and dinner parties - but CF can offer much, much more than that. With over 15,000 members up and down the country, Conservative Future consists of some of the finest, best and brightest campaigners in the world.

Take the London Mayoral elections for example, where we supported the campaign in Croydon. We campaigned for our GLA candidate and Boris Johnson attracting over 18 young people to each of the campaign days. This fantastic effort saw thousands of leaflets land in the letterboxes of target voters, enhancing our presence and showing the electorate that the Conservatives are ready to work.

The results were a stunning victory for Steve O'Connell, GLA, winning the mayoralty for Boris Johnson and a much greater presence in key campaign hot spot.

In recent months we have seen rising campaign stars take centre stage. Through true grit and hard work, these candidates have seen their personal profiles rocket within the organisation.

But so much more needs to be done.

When we have an army of rising campaign stars they need to be nurtured and helped to pass on their passion and skills to other upcoming members. CF should always remain a meritocracy where hard work is rewarded and pushed to the forefront of the organisation.

We need detailed and accurate campaign plans, which are promoted and publicised well in advance to attract as many members as possible. We need CF to have a national dedicated presence with multiple representatives to manage action days if others are absent or unable to attend.

We need a national membership database to ensure all keen members are provided times, locations and contact details to support Conservative Future wherever the help is needed.

With the party riding high in the polls, now is the time for Conservative Future to show the party what it’s made of. We have a major campaign day coming up in Croydon where we need to see a huge turn out and strong support from our best and brightest.

Campaigning is Conservative Future’s most measurable and powerful strength, so lets pull together, forget our differences and show the party the true value of our organisation.

-----

* Conservative Future is holding its next campaign day this Saturday (13th September) with FREE LUNCH and drinks.

We are meeting at East Croydon Station at 10am – hope you can all make it

e-mail:

londonsouth@conservativefuture.com

web:

https://londonsouthcf.blogspot.com/

Cheers for the invite...

TB couldn't help but chuckle that the CF Area Chairman are holding their very own special

conference party

.

It's understood there will be rousing speeches about holding strong and fighting for survival...


UPDATE: News is reaching TB today that some sort of petition is in motion.

The Great Reform Act isn't going through without a fight.

Let me sell you a Tory...

Tory Bear's little friend Olivia Cole interviews ten young up and coming Conservative candidates for this months Tatler...

This is from today's

Standard

:

"Tory politicians have never looked so good. Thanks to society magazine Tatler, 10 young Conservatives - billed as the party's stars of the future - were treated to a makeover, transforming them from dour political animals to fashionable clothes horses.

Tatler says the photo shoot, involving several parliamentary candidates in marginal seats up and down the country, proves "David Cameron's Notting Hill Toryism reaches further than leafy W11".

The men wore Gieves & Hawkes, Crombie and Moschino, while the women wriggled into dresses by the likes of Yves Saint Laurent and Giambattista Valli.

Tatler suggests that the 20- and 30-somethings will one day constitute a Conservative Cabinet.

Nicola Blackwood, 28, who will stand in Oxford West and Abingdon, told the Standard she had felt self-conscious swapping her everyday T-shirt and jeans for a Donna Karan number she had bought especially in the sales. "I was worried about going to the photo shoot as I'm not exactly a Size Zero," she said, "So I took my own dress as I feared I wouldn't fit into anything provided by Tatler"

So who were the top tories?

1 - Shaun Bailey, 37

PPC for Hammersmith. Tipped as future home secretary. Married with a daughter, he grew up in Ladbroke Grove where he is still an active member of the community. Studied computer-aided technology at South Bank University, now a youth and drug worker who set up a charity for young people. A member of the Police Community Consultative Group, he enjoys comics and South American economics in his spare time.

2 - Mark Clarke, 31
Former chairman of Conservative Future and now the PPC for Tooting. Tipped as future trade and industry secretary. Educated at Dulwich College and Durham University where he read ancient, medieval and modern history, he lives in the constituency. His family are originally from the West Indies and he is related to Dame Eugenia Charles, the first female prime minister in the Caribbean. His mother forbade him tell friends and family he was a Conservative because she was so embarrassed - until David Cameron made it less uncool.

3 - Joanne Cash, 38
PPC for Westminster North. Tipped to be a future housing minister. Oxford-educated barrister specialising in media law. Her recreations include country and western singing and yoga.

4 - Annunziata Rees-Mogg, 29
PPC for Somerton and Frome. Tipped to be a future defence secretary. Youngest daughter of former Times editor and Arts Council chairman William Rees-Mogg. Her older brother Jacob is fighting the neighbouring constituency of North-East Somerset. A former journalist, latterly a leader writer on the Telegraph, admired by Tatler for both her style and her substance. Her fiance recently served in Iraq.

5 - Peter Lyburn, 24
Made history as the youngest ever Tory candidate to stand for the Scottish Parliament in 2006. Tipped to be a future environment secretary.
Studied at Scottish Agricultural College in Edinburgh and worked for the family farming business before entering politics. Early experience included running Boris Johnson's high-profile campaign to become rector of Edinburgh University.

6 - Charlotte Leslie, 29
Prospective parliamentary candidate (PPC) for Bristol North-West. Tipped as future education secretary. Balliol-educated surfer, boxer and competitive swimmer who has already authored an education report for David Cameron's favourite think tank, Policy Exchange, and worked for shadow education secretary David Willetts.

7 - Jeremy Brier, 27
PPC for Luton North. Tipped as future chancellor of the exchequer. The commercial barrister and accomplished cook has a double first in English from Cambridge and quotes Middlemarch as his inspiration for social policy.

8 - Nicola Blackwood, 28
PPC for Oxford West and Abingdon. Tipped as future foreign secretary. A trained classical opera singer, she holds degrees from both Oxford and Cambridge and has done extensive aid work in the developing world. Heroes include Malalai Joya, who was elected to the Afghan Parliament aged 27 and then expelled for her principles. Has written a report for the Conservative Party Human Rights Commission on sexual violence as a weapon of war.

9 - Helen Whately, 32
PPC for Kingston and Surbiton. Tipped as future health secretary. Married and expecting her first child, she is a former national dressage champion who was educated at Westminster and studied PPE at Oxford. After teaching in Nepal for a year, she spent five years with AOL and is now a management consultant specialising in healthcare.

10 - Kulveer Ranger, 33
Director of transport policy for Boris Johnson and party vice-chairman for cities. Tipped as future transport secretary. Studied architecture at UCL, the part-time DJ's heroes include Mrs Thatcher and Gandhi. Headhunted by the Mayor after virtually inventing the Oyster card as a management consultant.

According to Tatler the future looks blue...

How odd...

The relationship between the chiefs of conhome and the YBF hasn't exactly been the smoothest but it seems the feud has extended to censorship...

Before:

click to enlarge

After:

Surely not?

Stand Up and Fight - The John McCain Remix

TB has teamed up with his good friend and DJ "The Chemist" to bring you this little treat... took slightly longer than intended to sort out but it's finally here...enjoy...

Please spread it around...

That was strange...

And then it was gone...

What a truly odd day. The video was also picked up by Dizzy so no doubt it got far more coverage there. TB would like to stress to whoever it was that made the slanderous comment over at

Dizzy Thinks

that as far as he is aware your rumour is bullshit and if he had heard it and believed it he would very much have published it!

Well that was fun while it lasted. Having spent the day on youtube ripping videos for a musical treat that will be coming your way tonight TB wishes he'd had the sense to rip the reform one.

Oh well.

Watch this space for a soon to be remix sensation...

Ouch... +++developing+++

That is pretty slick... very OTT and very very funny.

Who was really bored today?


UPDATE: It was emailed to TB by one mysterious Anthony Reedham - who unsuprisingly doesn't have Facebook.

They did however have access to the Area Chairman contact list...

They may be good with a Windows Movie Maker but they didn't hide their IP address very well.

UPDATE 2: Christian May: "This person should spend a bit more time campaigning and a little less time sitting in his mother's basement making conspiracy videos."


TB can't stop laughing.... ahhh the music.

Imitation is the highest form of flattery...

Back at the beginning of the summer TB commented that you would not find Gordon spending his precious time doing a web broadcast such as the CameronDirect events.

Well three months down the line and surprise surprise what is at the centre piece of week 2 of Gordon's final fightback?

Yep a complete rip off of Dave once again...

Shame GB can't stop pulling his slightly awkward paedophile outside ToysR'us smile though.

The Green Team

In a clear change in strategy from handing out windmill badges and using "bags-for-life" the new leader of the Green Party Caroline Lucas is clearly stamping her changes on the membership and wider public with the release of this video:

Seems the enviro-fascists are stepping up a gear...

The week that was...

Looking back at the developments of the last few days TB is wondering what the next week will bring. Through unintentional revelations and a leak or two a rift has clearly emerged at the top of Conservative Future.

In the furore of the public declarations of opposition to the reforms by two NME members, this hilarious story of anonymous briefings backfiring almost slipped by unnoticed. When TB started his blog it was to highlight that sort of banter and although this reform stuff is significant in the long term, in the next six days there is very little that can be done before the executive meet and thrash this all out amongst themselves.

It has to be noted by them that the Area Chairman are clearly a force to be reckoned with and can create quite a shit storm when their cages are rattled..

Catching up on emails before nap...

date  Sat, Sep 6, 2008 at 5:35 PM subject CF Reforms Dear Area Chairmen,

It is with great regret that I feel it necessary to write this e-mail however I feel that something needs to be said so that we can move forward from the divisions that have arisen in recent weeks. I also thought that given the criticism we have come under for failing to communicate, I should communicate my thoughts and what I intend to do at the Exec meeting to you.  I would like to state at the beginning of this that I cannot speak for any of my colleagues – I would only like to explain my position to you and why I feel that I have to take it.

My personal concerns echo much of what Adele said in her e-mail that ended up on Tory Bear. I also share many of the concerns expressed by Clare Hilley (AC for London South), Alex Agius (AC for Cambridgeshire and Bedfordshire), and Paul Wells (President of UEA CF), Matt Lewis (AC for Staffordshire), Matthew Davison (AC for Norfolk and Suffolk) and many other members who have sought to contact me privately.  As most of you have read at least some of their comments and e-mails, I will not seek to repeat what they have said so well already, save to say that their arguments and my own are similar.

I would also like to recognise that the opposition to these reforms does not appear to London-centric but from all areas. The opposition to these reforms also comes not only from those who voted for Matt Richardson or Daryl Williams at the last election but many who voted for Michael as well. It would be a mistake for the opposition to these reforms to be viewed as an attack on anyone’s personality. Those that oppose it, or at least the majority of those that do, do so as a genuine matter of principle.

My reading of Michael’s e-mail is that if any reform proposal is decided at exec, it will be sent to the party board without a consultation period. I have checked with some of my NME colleagues as to whether that is their interpretation as well and it is. In my mind that is not acceptable and I intend to express this sentiment in the Executive meeting on the 13^th.

When I first considered running for Exec for a second time, I spoke to the then Chairman Mark Clarke about what exactly the role involved.  Mark very kindly spent most of an hour going through how the organisation worked, putting me right on some of my more loony ideas  and explaining that in a voluntary organisation no one ever  truly has power they only have influence. It is that final point that I have continued coming back to during over the past few months.  

As an Executive we do not have the power to force our membership to do anything that they do not want to. It is important to remember that volunteers are just that- volunteers – and anytime they give to helping our campaigns is voluntary.

To push reforms through which do not have the support of a substantial majority of the membership will cause them to lose what faith they have in CF and to potentially to feel so slighted as to withhold their support, in terms of time and physical resources from the organisation. At anytime this is damaging but in the run up to a General Election it will be especially so.

If any package of reforms is agreed on the meeting of the 13^th, I feel that we will be opening up a Pandora’s Box.  It at best means that this destructive debate goes on and on. At worst it means that CF gets an unnecessary and counterproductive structural overall the year before a General Election.

CF has developed an increasingly unhealthy focus on internal politics. This has to stop so that we can return to focusing on what really matters – developing new branches, empowering and supporting Area and Branch Chairmen and Campaigning in our Marginal Seats.  

I will be voting against these reforms in Executive and whilst I cannot speak for any of my colleagues I sincerely hope that they are voted down.

All the Best,

Patrick Sullivan 

And so it continues... 

Will comment on this whole saga in depth at some point but in the mean time TB can't really think straight and needs some sleep.

TB is very hungover.

Great weekend but bear with a sore head today.



This should keep you amused.