HHC

I saw a man on a scooter rolling down the corridor yesterday. What a stroke of genius! Why didn't I think of that? Apparently Westminster has eight miles of corridors (I read recently – I know not why). I actually have no idea how the European Parliament matches up, but it can't be far off. There are many downsides to this – not least the dawning horror when you realise you've left your pass on your desk at lunchtime (the cafeteria is guarded with zeal matched only by our infamously harsh year 11 prefects at school) – but this week I once again had the 'pleasure' of showing a visitors group around the Parliament, and naturally its rather grandiose size leads people to expect a long tour. “This is the Hemicycle.” I said. “They never really use this, because most of the plenaries happen in Strasbourg, but you can take a look... Oh, they seem to be using it today. Only MEPs are allowed in... although I see my colleague is there at the back, taking notes.” “Is there anything else to see?” asked one of the visitors “erm..., well mainly it's offices, if I'm honest.” “Right. Well where can we get some coffee then?” Clearly a visitor with his priorities in order.

At the end of a stressful week (one of those in which by Tuesday you're asking with genuine incredulity: 'how can it not be almost the weekend already?), a rather hectic Friday. But we still managed to find a slot in which to goad the Federalists – surely a mandatory pass-time on the day Ireland votes? First out of the gates were the pro-Europeans, with a lovely little rant against The Sun. Apparently Trevor Kavanagh sounds like Gerry Adams circa 1974 and Labour haven't lost it. Of course Team Hannan weren't having any of that, pointing out the sheer cheek of telling the Irish that they'd got it wrong the first time around and would have to have a second go. Cue a lovely little rant from an Irish EPPer, with the particuarly choice paragraph “The Irish will vote again because the Irish government preserve the right to put any question they see fit to the people. We are not being told to vote again, we are voting again because it is in our best interests. If the people decide to vote No then the people must be full sure that this is what they want.” So you see, it's not that the Irish actually meant to turn down Lisbon, they just didn't realise what they were doing, so the nice government have given them a second chance to rectify that mistake. Good old Irish government.

Incidentally, if they vote No again will this turn into a yearly event? We could start having anti-federalisation parties, with fancy dress and lots of Guinness.

I'm afraid my hellish journey on Southern Rail has taken it out of me rather, and Rococo is champing for a nice long gallop across the downs. So you'll have to excuse me until next week – must take time for a soothing hot chocolate before braving the best of the British weather. See you at Conference!