Prime Ministerial Cameron

Dave was on fire today... His speech was stunning. Waiting for the youtube footage...

How long before this becomes a reality?

Caption Contest: Balls up edition.

Ed "liar, liar, pants on fire" Balls should resign over

this

, but what's he just said to Gordo?

Rage must run in the family...

The DC gossip blog

The Wonkette

has a pretty cringe story about TB's favourite lady blogger

Meghan McCain

. John McCain's daughter has been running her blog for awhile now and she has risen in fame in the last few months, now writing for

The Daily Beast

. Well to cut a long story short a colleague there appears to have questioned whether Meghan had ever had a real job...

Cue one massive Twitter based freakout - start reading from the bottom:

Funnily enough the tweets disappeared very quickly, but not before someone got a screen grab of course!

Oh dear it seems she was pretty rattled by criticism.

YouTube Fail.

A masterpiece of spin once again from Mr Brown today, but once again, within minutes, it all unravels. Two birds, one stone - firstly he killed off the dying dregs of the smeargate story. Secondly he distracted the news agenda for the day - stopping people talking about the Budget. Tomorrow is going to be a day of dreadful headlines for Labour and it is no wonder Brown didn't want to face the press pack today. The ill thought out and rushed plans were broadcast in a painful and cringe-worthy attempt to not only look down with the kids, but to also hide from scrutiny. You can see how awkward he feels with his fake smile, weird gestures, and constant lapses back into grumpiness.

Brown announced when he came to power that he was going to end the days of spin that had dominated the Blair government. He promised to stop bypassing Parliament for big announcements. Well at least Blair had the balls to leak things to the press first, at least there was some degree of accountability. Instead Brown's announcement bypassed any editorial input, questioning and scrutiny from absolutely anyone. How can he lead the country when he is too scared to even face some awkward questions from journalists?

And if you want a vision of how Brown would really like to see this country run; "Children tell me that they want to be teachers, doctors, fireman" All good public sector workers suckling on the teet of the state. Who are these strange kids Brown is meeting who want to join his Utopian super state. There is no mention of entrepreneurs, businessmen, lawyers and dare TB say it bankers? And what a blatant lie about not meeting any young people who want to be MPs. The only people Brown associates himself with are loyal apparatchiks who have one goal and one goal only.

Climbing the greasy poll.

Imitation is the highest form of flattery...

TB's alter ego has been getting a lot of attention today, though he is glad to see that Liberal Youth haven't held a grudge about the muck raking he did during their elections. Far from it, as it seems they have

taken some campaigning tips

from Tory Bear's less than successful delve into student politics...

Seems they are set on coming third too.

Steak and Dan Han...

Surrey Area Chairman and top totty Alexandra Swann has pulled off the coup of having Dan speak at the

Surrey Conservative Future Dinner

in Guildford on the 9th of May. Tickets are £30 and TB hears that steak is on the menu. This will be followed by what will no doubt be a fantastic speech and even a cheeky question and answer session with the the man himself - Daniel Hannan MEP.

By the looks of her Facebook status Miss Swann is already very excited:

Sore to miss this one.

A very good reason to get a haircut...

TB was talking to his flatmate

@noiseporn

earlier. They don't really use each others blogging names when talking to each other, but for the sake of continuity...

NP: I really need to get a haircut.
TB: Ah no you should grow it... [it looks a bit silly but sssh.]
NP: Dude I have a bloody mullet.
TB: Yeah grow it, grow it.. it will be funny.
NP: No way man.
TB: Why not?
NP: You know who has a mullet!?
TB: Who?
NP: Derek Draper.

Lost for words...

TB doesn't quite know what to say... Meet Tory Barbie:

Click

here

to see more from Terrible Tory Girl. Now TB has seen everything...

Happy Birthday Ma'am

TB will be raising a glass tonight to wish Her Britannic, Canadian, Australian, etc Majesty a very Happy Birthday.

God save the Queen.

Osborne's big day...

George Osborne has been on fine form in recent weeks. Check out

his appearance

on the BBC last Sunday. After Darling gave the Pre-Budget Report back in November, Osborne hit him right where it hurts with this speech:



It's going to take something pretty special to top the "Labour has done it again" speech. This is possibly the most significant budget in a generation and Darling's opening line better be an apology for the blatant lies he told in November about being out of this recession by the autumn. Osborne is already warming up with talk of the "economic carnage of the last ten years" being laid bare on the "day of reckoning." Do us proud George.

You might even get another TB remix...

UPDATE 12.31:

James Burdett

has pointed TB to the fact that Dave will get the first crack at the Budget response. Silly Bear. Go Dave go...

Agreeing with Tom Harris, again.

TB was contacted by a journo this morning inquiring about whether he knew the identity of the Scottish blog

A Leaky Chanter

. The Times ran a bit of a

non-story

about it today, claiming it was Scotland's answer to the Red-Rag smears. Only one problem. The Leaky Chanter doesn't make up stuff about the private lives of the SNP members and their families. Instead it is a legitimate, although brutal, attack blog. Tom Harris has come in for some criticism for linking to the site and he comes out fighting:

"An “attack blog” is a completely different animal from the kind of smear blog that McBride and Draper were planning to set up. By all means attack your opponents’ policies, but when you attack our families, or invent stuff to attack, you’ve crossed the line. And you’ve exposed yourself for having nothing of substance to attack on. And that means you’ve lost the argument, and deservedly so."

Hear hear.

"Mr Miller declined to comment..."

The Sky News website has

picked up

on Tom Miller's blatant hypocrisy in signing that clean blogging pledge that TB was talking about yesterday.

Guess who's back...

Ben Brogan

has been missed in these last few weeks of big news stories involving blogs. He has managed to complete his transfer from the Mail to the Telegraph and is now back blogging...

Never one to shy from calling it as he sees it, his opening gambit is to call Ed Balls "liar, liar pants on fire."

Cracking stuff.

The dying days of Rome...

James Delingpole is on

cracking form

today: 

"Failed tyrants are never more dangerous than in the last months of their terrible reigns. It's when the surviving political prisoners get bumped off, when the suicidal last-ditch offences are launched, when the dictator punishes his people for his own inadequacies by laying waste the land in a final act of hellish Götterdämmerung. So what can we expect from Gordon Brown?

As much, I fear, as he can possibly get away with in the time available. Already, he has proved himself by some measure the worst prime minister in at least a century. But give him time: with a year to go until he's booted out of Downing Street, he could still yet give the likes of King Stephen or King John a good run for their money as quite simply our island's worst leader since time began."

Should do the trick...

To: editor@telegraph.co.uk

Sirs,
Your article on Gordon Brown's appearance in South Park (April 20th Gordon Brown to appear on South Park) is incorrect in stating that the Prime Minister is to be given an animated makeover. Indeed the episode has already been shown in America and although the character of the British Prime Minister bears a passing resemblance to Mr Brown, he does in fact have a generic cockney accent and no mention of his name is given.
Although Mr Brown has had a bad week, he can at least rest easy knowing the creators of South Park went easy on him, for now.

Yours faithfully

Tory Bear

Legend.

TB bets Ken is spitting blood

about this

.

Calling all DJs...

Fancy showing off your DJing skills or just doing something for charity? Well excuse the shameless plug, but TB's flatmates are driving from London to Mongolia this summer and need your help...

These

music mad

nutters

are looking to build up one of the biggest collections of mixtapes ever, to keep them occupied while they deliver a AA van specially modified rescue vehicle to the people of Ulanbaataar. So why not send them something in?

Head over to the

Mongolian Mixtape Marathon

site and donate as a little as a pound towards this great cause and then upload your mix...

Gordon on South Park...

The Telegraph

is reporting

that Brown will be featured on South Park - sounds brilliant:

"In the episode to be aired later this year, Mr Brown becomes part of an international plot to steal money from aliens in a bid to solve the global recession. He and other world leaders agree to claim the "space cash" found on a fugitive spaceship. However, the Prime Minister orders a nuclear attack on Finland after he discovers that it plans to tip off intergalactic police about the ploy."

If you are bored and have a spare two minutes

click here

to create your own Gordon Brown South Park character. Here's TB's attempt:

Email yours to TB and he might put it up.

UPDATE 13.49. Thank you to The Major and John Galt for getting in touch to let TB know that this particular episode of South Park aired already in the US and Gordon wasn't in it. It seems the Telegraph is telling porkies again. Well there's a surprise...Oh well, it's still a bit of fun so keep sending in your own efforts.

UPDATE: 14.13: Another eagle eyed reader has got in touch with this clip. Not nearly as exciting as TB would have hoped. Good to see the Telegraph sub-editors are doing their job so well:

Who are you kidding?

Tom Miller

has spent the last week shouting at the top of his voice that he had nothing to do with the smeargate emails or the red-rag blog, despite the fact he is very open about the fact he spends "most of his week" in Mr Draper's office. Miller has clearly been trying to distance himself from the darker side of Draper's short-lived return to politics and has gone as far as to sign up to a blogging ethics code instigated by Sunder Katwala over at  

Liberal Conspiracy

:

The code suggests acting "as ambassadors for the political values we profess" and opposing "the politics of personal destruction. We believe that the personal can be political, where it reveals the hypocrisy of public statements, the wilful misuse of evidence, or breaches proper ethical standards in public life. Where it doesn’t do that, it should be off limits. Politicians should be able to have a family and private life too. A politics of personal destruction violates progressive values and brings all politics into disrepute." 

That's all very noble, but how exactly do you justify your previous behaviour Tom? You were so loyal and trusted by Draper that he gave you his important task of drawing up a dossier on the history of the Guido Fawkes blog, and more importantly its author Paul Staines. In this document you were more than casual with the truth and instead relied on the already numerous accounts of Staines's history from the likes of Tim Ireland et all. You willfully prepared attack lines for Draper to use that you knew to be false and concluded that you couldn't call Staines a racist and would have to settle for going after the people who leave comments on his blog. 

Do you deny this?

Guess being a hypocrite is mandatory is you want a job at LabourList.

Researcher Totty Watch - Week 2:

As the MPs return to work after their holiday we wouldn't want their staff getting too bored so time for another round of Researcher Totty Watch.

A head to head battle this week, for the girls, it's every one's favourite

conference darling

and researcher to Andrew Mitchell, the shadow International Development Secretary, Jessie Lever, 22:

Vs. Victoria Parker, David Amess's 23 year old researcher. It's seemingly a corridor of blondes in Norman Shaw, as Victoria is apparently based just a few doors from Rozza's ladies featured last week:

For the lads, we have Jack Colson, who's departure from working for Daniel Kawcznyski soon has broken many a lady bagcarrier heart:

Vs. Teresa Villiers' Chief of Staff, Paul Foote. With all the manners of a typical Cambridge man, Paul also supplements this with his native Louisianan charm:

So vote away... results on Friday.