Back where he belongs...

It has often been said that Derek Draper is stuck in the mindset of a student politician. Well it seems he is embracing this and has waded into the Durham student elections:

The poor candidates, an endorsement from Dolly is enough to put any voter off!

There have been better weeks. A pot of coffee and two bacon sandwiches later:

• Week Four of Matthew d'Ancona being Labour's Sunday morning headache in the Telegraph.

• Peter Hitchens wonders why Brown invited the Pope to a country that hates/clearly persecutes Christians in the Mail.
  

• Patrick Hennessy catches up with Ken Clarke for the Telegraph

• John Rentoul asks what a Cameron government will do in the Independent.

• The Mail has got fantastic extracts from the secret diary of a Labour Minister.

Great slogan...

Like any normal person TB is spending his Saturday evening having a look at student elections in universities hundreds of miles from where he a) lives and b) goes. You have to laugh at this one from though:

TB can't find much about this guys politics but from the look of the people TB know's in the facebook group he must be pretty sound. The fact he is willing to go with that slogan doesn't seem particuarly lefty.

But regardless of politics, with a slogan like that he deserves to win.

Tory totty...

TB was having the standard right wing girls are fitter chat with a member of the Labour Party the other day. It's an argument that has got him into trouble

before.

Give this video about thirty seconds and then try argue that it's not the Tories that have the totty:



TB rests his case.

He's everywhere...

Tory Bear tends to avoid OK! magazine but found himself flicking through it at the airport yesterday. Amongst the pages of washed up eighties singers and footballers wives in all their airbrushed designer glory, he spotted a familiar face:
Unite clearly aren't paying Derek Draper enough to run his little website, as he and his Mrs are selling their souls. She even made the cover, though, looking awkward as an ass, Dolly was saved for the inside...

TB thought he would share the pics with you, to save you having to buy the magazine for good old laugh.

The article was headlined saying it would talk about drinking and smoking etc, strangely Dolly's drinking habits weren't mentioned...

UPDATE: DOLLY RUINED YOU' RE FUN AND HAS GOT OK! ON TO TB ABOUT NICKING PHOTOS. OH WELL.

Home sweet bear.

Tory Bear has gone home for the weekend so blogging will be light to non-existant. He'll be in Westminster on Monday though if anyone is around for one of those promised catch ups...

One step at a time...

Not even a spike through the foot can stop this keen candidate:

1min 20secs into it is well worth watching...

She's got some balls...

So it was a quite night in for the Balls family last night. Poor Yvette must have been wondering why her husband kept popping outside talking to someone in hushed tones on his mobile. Seems it's not just Harriet Harperson who has a ruthlessly ambitious husband pulling the strings. 

Could it be any more obvious where

this briefing

came from?

Point of order...

My my aren't those young Liberal Democrats a pesky bunch. TB's story earlier got them into a

whirl

. We've had statements from candidates and now the

returning officer,

 all asking who this evil Tory Bear is and why is he upsetting the big yellow boat. There has been briefing that would make any spinner blush this evening and TB's inbox has made for the most interesting of reads...

The official line seems to be that there is no problem and that everything is fine. Original. However TB must ask a few questions:

• If there is no problem, why the hell are senior members of your youth movement briefing, and countless grassroots members complaining - to a tory!?!
  
• If there is no problem then why is there a growing campaign for
  RON
  ? If there is no problem then nobody would be calling for the Reopen of Nominations.
  

Oh dear the calamity at the of the top of the Liberal Democrats is trickling down.

Twatter banter.

You can follow

TB on Twitter here

.

Over to you Gordo..

Anything you feel you should

apologise for

Prime Minister?

Worst job in the world.

Just spotted this on

Toby Young's twitter

:

Yoof watch.

Tory Bear was right in his hunch that Liberal Youth were in real trouble. It's amazing what drops out of the tree when you shake the branch a little.  After surviving an

attempted coup

, current chairman

Elaine Bagshaw

 (right,) is being given a good run for her money in a bid by

Sara Scarlett

 (below,) to stop Bagshaw being re-elected, but the whole affair is getting rather bitchy and messy. There is a

growing movement

developing amongst the membership calling for the nominations to be re-opened on account that neither of the candidates would be right for the job.

The opposition to Bagshaw is growing daily, especially as this "Vicky Pollard like" media performer (according to Quinton Letts!) can't seem to keep her mouth shut about how great she is. Just a quick scroll of her

campaign group

sees her taking full responsibility for lobbying the Cowley Street great and good single handed, and even claims she can give dear old Vince Cable some advice on the economy. This woman makes the very worst of the CF self aggrandises look tame. TB is amazed that she hasn't started a social action project yet...

Things apparently came to a head at last week's Coventry hustings where the two candidates were questioned on why they were Liberal Democrats, a good question to ask any member. Scarlett gave in interesting answer about growing up as a woman in the Middle East giving her an inherent liberal streak, but it was Chairman Bagshaw that really fluffed it. She rambled on about always being a liberal and there never being an eye opening moment or epiphany. Her vague answer left out one pretty significant fact though...

Tory Bear reckons there must have been something significant that made her jump ship from the Labour Party to the Lib Dems.

This little piggy stayed at home...

The Jacqui Smith saga is far from over... This morning the excellent

news has broken

that the Home Secretary has faced further questioning and potentially an investigation after all. 

Captions contest anyone? 

Answers below...

Rearranging the deckchairs on the Titanic...

Spin spin away Peter.

Exclusive: Lib Dems hoping for a miracle...

Tory Bear has his eyes and ears everywhere, and none more so than at the Liberal Youth

conference

last weekend at Warwick University. Take a look at Lembit Opik's strategy for the Lib Dems retaining the number of seats they have in parliament at the next election:

Poor Lembit, he's been through a lot recently and it looks like

too many nights

on the lash are beginning to have an effect on him. 

Unless of course that actually is the official Lib Dem policy.

Tears of laughter...

TB had to watch this three times before he could even contemplate posting it...



"Don't worry Kate, this wont be on GMTV"

Hat-Tip -

Donal Blaney

Better dead than red.

Never one to lose his temper lightly TB has come to the conclusion that Tom Miller is a bit of a twat. When he's not

cosying up

with the bigger boys at LabourList, (he's almost a mini-Draper without the famous wife,) he pours drivel and preaches socialist state loving hate on his "Newer Labour"

blog.

This morning the world was greeted with the

sad news

that, in a referendum as straight as a nine bob note, Hugo Chavez is set to remain in power for the foreseeable future having poured millions of pounds into a state sponsored campaign to change the constitution.

As

other blogs

have picked up, this isn't good news for the people of Venezuela. Yet the little twerp Miller can

barely contain his joy

, or his communist sympathies.

If you like it so much Tom, why don't you put that silly hat of yours on and go live there.

Liberal Yoof are at each others throats.

It's never a good sign when even the former returning officer of an election starts bitching about what bitches the candidates all were. Well that's the Lib Dems for you. It seems that the newly created

Liberal Youth

are being dogged by petite politics and back stabbing...

"For me, the most disappointing aspect is the lack of unity. It has been put to me that an organisation that is doing little is most vulnerable to infighting, and I have to say that it has been a recurring theme of my time as Liberal Youth Returning Officer that most of the conversations I have been part of revolve around who isn't getting on with whom. How does such distraction help in the building of a better organisation?"

Read the rest of the damning statement from Liberal Bureaucracy

here

.

So as the dust settles on their spring conference that was held this weekend at Warwick University, (check out the organised fun in the agenda

here

,) it seems that already this little project is beginning to fall apart. Activists are bitching, no work is getting done and not a by-election for love nor money.

Tory Bear suggests the cause of all your problems may lie with this

chap

.

Labour say jump, Student press says how high?

Now despite some vocal people having no interest in student politics, a big chunk of the readership of this blog do care, so Tory Bear was quite excited about the idea of writing a weekly column for the duration of election season for the student press. However when the word got out - shock horror oh my god a tory being allowed somewhere to express his views arrrrgh, the editorial decision was taken to replace TB with a staff writer. As he gets on very well with some of the

Student

hacks TB doesn't want to point fingers, and understands that perhaps the decision was out of the hands of those who had previously encouraged it, but he does however know who it was that made the big fuss about it, claiming that TB wouldn't be neutral. Well luckily the ever growing

HackWatch

website has no qualms with printing the rejected first column and as you can see it's all very fair:

"The next few weeks will be a flurry of plotting late into the night, knocking on thousands of doors, leafleting and putting up posters, injected with the occasional hour of sleep. At the end of the day EUSA elections are not won with fancy videos or flashy websites, they are lost and won on the doorstep. It’s all about who can meet and talk to the most students to get their message out there...

...years of dreaming for some, months of planning for others, and what seemed like a good idea in the pub for one or two candidates is set to come down to a pitched battle on campus."

Oh well, their loss. Read the rest

here

.

If you thought the British blog wars were bad...

While Derek Draper continues to

embarrass himself

on a daily basis with his constant obssesion with triggering some sort of blog war with Guido and Iain etc, spare a thought for Xu Lai the Chinese blogger behind the risque

Pro-State in Flames

blog. He was

stabbed

this weekend after doing a bookshop interview with readers of his blog. Apparently someone didn't like something he posted...

He was taken into the loos of the bookshop by two armed men

and told

“You brought this on yourself. You know why we’re doing this, don’t you?”

Don't get any ideas Derek.

Rules of Political Life #56 - Dodgy kodak moments can easily go wrong...

If they are running in an election, however important, candidates love to show themselves recycling all manner of things. Though is it really a good idea to

be photographed

for your campaign throwing away the election guide put together to explain the rules and regulations of the election?

Given the quagmire of appeals and rule breaking that normally goes with student politics, Tory Bear doubts that the excuse of "Oh I didn't realise I was breaking the rules" will wash if this candidate gets busted...

Whoops.

The real life West Wing...

TB has a Monday morning treat for West Wing fans, who will love this

fascinating insight

into how Obama is running his ship. It gives a detailed account of who the main players in the administration are, and more importantly, where their desks are in relation to the Oval Office. 

The similarities between Obama and Santos, Rahm and Josh etc are uncanny...

Is it time for a Season 8?

So farewell then Gossip Girl...

Over the last few months various universities across the country have seen blogs emerge that are inspired by the hit US tv show "Gossip Girl". Brilliantly scathing and sarcastic, these blogs give an insiders look on the lives of trust fund kiddies while at university. 

GG Edinburgh Edition sadly had the MSM go to town on her this weekend, and although this

piece

in Scotland on Sunday was arguably pretty damn funny, apparently the Daily Mail were up for stirring things up.

The piece describes the "tell-all website has proved so popular it has had 12,000 hits in its first three months, and now receives more than 600 new visitors every week.

According to the blog, Edinburgh students' lifestyles include:

• Renting Georgian property in the city's New Town, where a flat in Dublin Street costs around £4,500 per person, the equivalent of a year's allowance of a student loan;

• Mid-term skiing holidays in the exclusive Swiss resort of Verbier, which costs around £3,000 for a week;

• Parties at the Royal Scots Club, renting out the place for a champagne reception and venison dinner for 120 people;

• All-day brunches fuelled by dozens of bottles of Moët & Chandon champagne at £30 each;

• Three nights a week partying in nightspots such as the Opal Lounge, where customers must spend at least £135 to reserve a table with a bottle of Mercier champagne."

Some lazy hack has clearly had their day made when they stumbled across the website but TB is never a fan of seeing a fellow blogger

go under

. He understands though that the negative PR this sort of thing causes can be rather unpleasant. 

So farewell then Gossip Girl, whoever you were.

Gordon says more tax...

Tory Bear rotates the t-shirts he sells every so often. This is your last chance to get your hands on one of the very popular, £10 bargain price Gordon specials:

See other designs and order

here

.

Boris banter.

Seems the party are really taking the new Conservative Future website seriously. Today they caught up with Boris for a little Q and A. As you can see he was on typical form:

Who is your political hero?

Aristotle, Pericles & the Mayor in Jaws

Why should people get involved with organisations like Conservative Future?

Because quite simply it’s the hottest ticket in town, and a great first dip of the toe in the warm waters of politics.

Read the rest

here

.

Exclusive: Hippies set to quit.

Word is reaching Tory Bear this afternoon that the

students occupying

a lecture theatre on Edinburgh University's campus will end their protest within the next 24 hours. The University of Edinburgh has caved into some of their demands such as organising a series of lectures on the middle east, banning Israeli products such as Eden Springs - (the water is actually bottled in Scotland ffs.) They did however laugh the hippies out of the room when they demanded that the university bankrupt itself by stopping the fantastic military research it does and sever its' ties with BAE. 

TB has on multiple occasions attempted to question the occupation's press team and they have failed to respond to his approaches. In doing so they have refused to deny witnesses concern that there was drug taking going on during the sit in. The University gave their tacit consent to the protest in agreeing to keep the wifi, power and heating on in the lecture theatre on throughout the occupation, much to the outrage of TB and

many of his fellow students

. The protest has caused havoc and upset many students and TB is welcoming the fact it is now about to collapse. They will attempt to spin it as some sort of victory but life will continue as normal on campus. 

Back to the status quo. Back to the real world and back to work for these skiving students.

UPDATE 19:16 - Nearly two hours after Tory Bear broke the story, it's now

official.

 

No!

Communist dictator Hugo Chavez is attempting to install himself as dictator for life in today's referendum into whether he can amend the Venezuelan constitution. The state funded yes campaign is dominating and a silencing opposition. They are busing in thousands of protesters and control state television. 

Chavez has lost this referendum once and is taking every measure to ensure he gets his yes this time round. In an interesting glimpse into what Britain would be like if the Labour Party are allowed to govern for ten more years - voters turning up to the polling station are biometrically tested before they can vote. 

Polling is showing the No campaign is only just behind though... We can but hope.

Ken Livingstone was unavailable for comment.

Idle speculation...

The case of little Alfie

the thirteen year old father shocked TB when he first he and about it. He was even more shocked when he saw a picture of the happy couple. To be honest little Alfie doesn't really look like he has it in him to be the father, he does after all look like a seven year old. The Sun would have paid this "couple" a hefty bit of cash for the exclusive access rights and pictures. The story has played throughout the weekend on TV, frontpages and caused a mild political storm. Something about the whole thing, apart from being a genuinely sad story, smelt fishy to TB. 

Is someone pulling the strings behind the scene? When fifteen year old Chantelle, herself a child, got pregnant, did someone spot an opportunity to make some cash? It now seems Chantelle has been a bit naughty according to

The News of the World

. Today two other lads have come forward saying they were having their wicked way with Chantelle at the same time as wee Alfie. 

Sadly in the current state of Brown's broken Britain, two fifteen year olds having a kid, while no less an awful case, wouldn't have got the attention the thirteen year old boy did. It was Alfie's dad who went to the papers. This is of course idle speculation but TB won't be surprised if

the DNA test comes back

showing Alfie is being used as a pawn in something much darker... and of course Max Clifford is involved.

How much money did Chantelle and Alfie's parents get for the exclusive and intense access from The Sun?

There are few things more irritating than a bad batch of Sunday newspapers... Luckily this week was quite the opposite. 

Here are TB's must reads:

The Sunday Times leader welcomes you to Broken Britain

.

James Dellingpole in the Telegraph has a message to the people of America

.

Liz Jones in the Mail has some empathy for Boris

. 

The Sunday Herald get the scoop on more Labour corruption 

... 

and the Mail has more.

Another week and another two barrels from Matthew d'Ancona in the Telegraph.

Was the 2005 election worth losing?

TB just spotted this very

interesting piece

from the Telegraph. TB isn't sure he agrees with exactly how Iain Martin imagines things playing out but fascinating none the less... 

"In the flat of No 10 in early 2009, the Prime Minister poured himself a drink and lay down on the sofa: what a horrific week. Could the economic data be any worse? Which bank would collapse next? What, thought Michael Howard, had he done to deserve this?

It had shocked pundits when the results came in on election night 2005. Yet, the only man not surprised that Tony Blair had been defeated was Howard, confident leader of the Conservative Party."

Things could have been very different.

Freak out your ex. Join the Conservatives.

The Canadian equivalent of our own Conservative youth movement is running an

excellent slogan campaign

at the moment:

TB wonders if it would work here...

Exclusive: Another Election Sucess!

A double whammy against Labour tonight as the excellent news is just breaking that Conservative Future queenbee Clare Hilley has been returned as a Councillor in

Waddon

by-election

tonight.

May Tory Bear be the first of many to say congratulations!

+++developing+++

UPDATE 23:45: Beat Labour by 240 votes... Proof that door knocking by CFers works. Go this weekend.

UPDATE: Friday 11am:

A good old fashioned fisk...

Donal Blaney

has a must read message to all those deluded student's occupying lecture theatres around the country tonight.

Labour wounded in the Heart of Mid-Lothian...

So there we have it... Iain Macwhirter and his broad church of backing from left and right, has stormed to victory. Edinburgh University's newest Rector was returned by more than 2 to 1 votes in favour. Lord Foulkes, who was dogged throughout the campaign by various scandals gave a graceful speech praising his opponent.  Despite similar manifestos it seems the Labour brand in Edinburgh has just been too tainted. 

Such was the scale of the vote, coupled with the anti-Labour air coming from the whole election, Tory Bear must pose the question, can Labour win anywhere in Edinburgh anymore? Iain Gray the Labour leader allegedy told a campaigner that this election wasn't about the students but about Labour party and it seems the students and staff of Edinburgh have spoken in no uncertain terms. There are some highly winnable seats in the city and the potential for some serious upsets.

Foulkes was synonymous with this Labour government. 

So is Alastair Darling in Edinburgh South West...

+++Pictures to follow+++

Edinburgh University Rector Election

MacWhirter has won - more to follow soon...

UPDATE: 20:30 Foulkes 2182, MacWhirter 4822

Which Labour MP has a tattoo on their bottom?

Tonight it's Labour MP and blogger Tom Harris's Birthday. Iain Dale is

twittering

that he turned down the invitation to join him and fifteen other Labour MPs for a Chinese and karaoke. Tom might have banned cameras from the event tonight but that hasn't stopped all sorts of gossip emerging from these shindigs in the past.

Last time this crew got together, another blogging Labour MP Kerry McCarthy

noted

that one of the MPs had drunkenly admitted to having a Labour rose tattooed on their left butt cheek. Just yesterday Tom was doing the increasingly irritating 25 random things meme that has been doing the rounds, but chose to

add some more facts.

Such as the fact he got his one and only tattoo after becoming a Labour MP...

And he doesn't deny it is indeed a Labour rose tattooed on this left buttock.

Move along people, nothing to see here.

So the police

won't be investigating

the dodgy Lords for their blatent corruption. Once again Tory Bear wonders how this would have played out if the Met weren't as bent a nine bob note and under the thumb of the corrupt Home Secretary.

The whole thing stinks.

Nothing a bit of tear gas wouldn't sort out...

Thirty students have occupied a lecture theatre in Edinburgh, in yet another ridiculous sit in for Gaza. The conflict is over and it seems to TB that these unwashed barbarians are just looking to cause trouble.

Their blog

makes for hilarious reading, especially the spirit of '68 and creative space bits.

Lock them in there, cut the power, cut the food supply... They'll soon be begging to be let out.

Rector race polls open.

So polling day has arrived... Tory Bear was there to see the two candidates go head to head at the hustings last night and even asked the odd awkward question. It was clear to see that Foulkes had been answering awkward questions for 30 odd years though as he was able to bat them away with his famous folksy charm... he even gave a ringing endorsement to this blog and claims the fact he reads it proves he has plenty of spare time to be Rector.

Macwhirter, more used to asking the questions, held his own against the standard plants designed to unsettle him and gave a strong performance. Though no doubt Galloway would have livened the evening up no end, it was an interesting debate none the less.

And now it's over to the staff and students to decide. The result expected for 9pm tomorrow night.

TB is off to the bookies...

Too close for comfort?

Lots of you will have seen this clip...



but not like this.

Hat-Tip -

The Alternative Conservative

Second Wave...

Tory Bear's little friend isn't letting this one go...

Guess whose side the beeb is on...

Funny that the BBC only

picked up

the fact that the Home Secretary had been reported, after the call for an inquiry was dismissed.

Well watch this space Jacqui - the fun is only just beginning.

Slander is ok, but putting it in writing is where the real fun's at.

After the events of Friday night and Saturday morning - you know who you are, Tory Bear is going to tread carefully with this one.

TB isn't putting anything into writing but read

this article

, and this post from last week.

...and then read

this

.

Mr Mundell's mishap...

There are very few worse ways to begin an election campaign than high on morphine. Instead of handing in his nomination papers,

EUSA

Presidential candidate

Oliver Mundell

spent the morning in hospital having reconstructive surgery performed on his foot...

Having done what many a student before him had succeeded at, mainly climbing a iron fence at 4am to get to a fresh square full of snow, Mr Mundell instead pierced his foot and is now set to be campaigning for the next month from the confines of a wheelchair...

Could it make the ultimate battle bus though?

"Real people"

A comment from one of Tory Bear's lectures today really reminded him of how bad the lefty bias amongst most of those teaching at British universities really is. While discussing Proposition 0 in California - making English the only language on ballot papers - the lecturer actually said:

"...and it wasn't the right wing conservatives calling for the measure, it was the real people, the liberal people."

The real people!? WTF?

Casting some light on the matter...

Things aren't looking good for Jacqui Smith - an official complaint has been made by a little friend of Tory Bear's to the Parliamentary Standards Commission. Although you wouldn't know it from the BBC, luckily Sky have been running the story this afternoon and it looks like the papers are

getting involved

.

Almost as satisfying as sticking it to the Home Secretary is causing

Derek Draper

to have a hissy fit.

What larks.

Rules of Political Life #106 - Never ever sing.

Questions are often raised about the mental state of the Prime Minister, but now TB has to wonder about his enemy - Scottish First Minister Alex Salmond. Video footage of him singing a duet with uber-nationalist folk singer Sandi Thom has emerged and it's painful to say the least:



What on earth was going through a) his head, and b) the heads of his massive media and spin team when they allowed this to happen.

TB can't make it to the end of the song.

Exclusive: CF to lose only member of staff.

Word has reached TB that the only member of staff in CCHQ who works on Conservative Future and the party youth is set to lose their job. Michael Lunn who has been running the administrative side of CF since September 2007 is set to be one of the members of CCHQ staff let go in the recently announced wave of cut-backs. While being a marmite character in the murky world of CF politics, Lunn's position had not been helped by the reported recent fall outs with key players as well as various controversies. Regardless of people's opinion of the man himself, the fact that CF is back to square one in terms of representation in CCHQ and the ability to get things done is a blow to the organisation.