Sunday, 15 February 2009

Exclusive: Hippies set to quit.

Word is reaching Tory Bear this afternoon that the
students occupying
a lecture theatre on Edinburgh University's campus will end their protest within the next 24 hours. The University of Edinburgh has caved into some of their demands such as organising a series of lectures on the middle east, banning Israeli products such as Eden Springs - (the water is actually bottled in Scotland ffs.) They did however laugh the hippies out of the room when they demanded that the university bankrupt itself by stopping the fantastic military research it does and sever its' ties with BAE
TB has on multiple occasions attempted to question the occupation's press team and they have failed to respond to his approaches. In doing so they have refused to deny witnesses concern that there was drug taking going on during the sit in. The University gave their tacit consent to the protest in agreeing to keep the wifi, power and heating on in the lecture theatre on throughout the occupation, much to the outrage of TB and
many of his fellow students
. The protest has caused havoc and upset many students and TB is welcoming the fact it is now about to collapse. They will attempt to spin it as some sort of victory but life will continue as normal on campus. 

Back to the status quo. Back to the real world and back to work for these skiving students.

UPDATE 19:16 - Nearly two hours after Tory Bear broke the story, it's now
official.
 

7 comments:

Matt said...

those tree hugging hippies wouldnt know work if it was stood in front of them

Anonymous said...

The thing that bothers me is that they will probably completely get away with it. Why shouldn't they face disciplinary action for this? Add the accusation of drug-taking, and I hope the Uni ensures that they deal with the consequences of their actions.

basementcat
said...

This does my nut in, particularly the boycotting Eden Springs part. They put the university procurement department in a very sticky situation because you can't actually cancel a contract unless you've provided for break clauses, etc etc. Besides, Eden Springs UK isn't Israeli. It just has Israeli shareholders and trades under the Eden Springs brand. Anyway. Done is done...

Anonymous said...

they didnt win anything! wow, lectures... im so inspired, i had to go occupy a building for that. and also, eden springs contract was over with the uni anyway at the end of this yr!!! (the fuckin hippies didnt do thier research!!!!!) and eden springs scotalnd will probably have people lose their jobs now cuz of this.. good job hippies, uve really harmed israels economy.

twats!

K of the F said...

TB, old boy, the University has for a while now been planning not to renew the contract to buy bottled water and instead has been planning to use cooled mains water instead. The hippies have been wrongly claiming this as a victory. Indeed, the only two successes they have had is to arrange a sinle undergraduate scholarship for a Gazan Arab (they demanded 5), and to ensure that they don't face punishment for their wrongdoings and blatant breach of the sponsio academica. The last one is the only one which annoys me...

Jordan D
said...

The last one is a bloody disgrace. But then this is the University who seems to have done jack all over Lily of Stanstead Airport fame.

Anonymous said...

They have released a press statement detailing '5' things that they have won. Absolute spin: Eden springs was due to expire anyway. They might have secured scholarships but they haven't secured any tangible results on the other demands.

It really angers me to think they'll claim a victory.

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